Zoe's birth story - Part 1

Dear Zoe,

When your Aunt Jess was here we watched The Business of Being Born, which is a documentary about the way women birth in this country. Since you were born, I have been fascinated by the process of birth because it was truly the most transformative and intense experience of my life. Anyway, I was thinking about it and I realized I hadn't ever gotten around to writing your birth story on this blog. I am going to write about this in kind of a funny, disjointed way and hope that the whole story comes through. I think it will.

I am indebted to 5 people for their roles in your birth; you, your father, Vanessa (our doula), your Grandpa David and your Grandma Patty.

First - I could not have done it without you, my sweet girl! You worked hard, too, and I really did think of us as partners in the process. It was all about you, after all, and though some people say they don't feel that "love at first sight" feeling when they first lay eyes on their baby, I certainly did. Seeing you for the first time nearly knocked me out, I loved you so much.




Your dad really blew my mind the day you were born, Zoe B. He stayed with me overnight in the hospital the night before on one of those horrible little chair beds because he knew I'd be really nervous. (Because you were 11 days late, I caved in and decided on an induction...but my water broke that night in the hospital which meant you were probably going to come that day anyway.) I'm so glad he did because things got going earlier than I'd anticipated when I felt that water come gushing out at 4 in the morning. He was wearing earplugs, though, since I was snoring like crazy at the end of my pregnancy and when my water broke I had to throw things (chapstick, a pillow, etc.) at him to get him to wake up because he couldn't hear anything. When the nurse came in to clean me up and check things out, she said, "That's a gross rupture right there." And I remember thinking, "Well, YOU'RE GROSS, GEEZ!" I really thought for about a half a second that she meant it was gross as in disgusting and not gross as in big. Hey- I hadn't slept...I had taken a sleeping pill...I was out of it. I had dreams of frolicking pink hedgehogs if that tells you anything. Anyway - so that was just the beginning - your dad staying with me overnight.

During the labor, he was right there with me the whole time. Because most of it is a bit of a blur, I don't remember many details but I remember his face being right by my face the whole time and that was exactly what I wanted. He held my hand and kissed my face and I felt so much comfort in him being right there with me.



After you were born, he took such incredible care of me AND you. I had a small tear and I had to get stitched up so he stayed with you and held your hand while you were under the warmer. He was right there with you while they worked you over - put the goop in your eyes, put a diaper on you, clamped your cord, and on and on. Once we were both done, he brought you over to me and you nursed for the first time. You latched right on and went to town. Then he ordered us breakfast and he fed me so I could have my hands on you.

Your dad is very adept at taking care of people. He is so good when one of us is sick, or if we have guests. He always wants everyone to be comfortable. If my mom is in town and we realize late at night that we don't have coffee filters for the morning, he jumps right up and goes to the store to get them. No question. That's just part of who he is. After I gave birth, I was a little nervous that all of my organs might just come sliding out with all of the mess that poured out after you were born. He helped me with every aspect of the healing process. He helped me shower and changed my dressings and all of it. Can you believe it? We were truly in it together. I had never felt as close to your dad as the day you were born, and the days that followed. It makes me so sad for those women decades ago who were not able to have their husbands with them when they gave birth. It also makes me sad that most women don't have a husband as mind-blowing as mine is. But I digress.

Part 2 to follow.