U CAN'T TOUCH THIS

Zoe does HAMMERTIME!
Zoe and Jess still in their pajamas dancing to MC Hammer.

Best Friends

I've been bad about posting this week because my beloved sister has been in town for 7 whole days. She's going through some rough times and I think smooching on Zoe B has been good for her. But tomorrow she LEAVES and I HATE THAT IDEA. I'll go ahead and speak for Zoe here and say that she hates that idea, too.

CHUBS!

Somewhere along the line, we started calling Zoe "Chubs"...and, see? She likes it.

Zoe declares having Aunt Jess here to be: AWESOME.

When Aunt Jess is here, Zoe has a friend in the back seat!

Aunt Jess is in town!

Zoe's best friend is in town for a whole week. They are totally into each other in every way. I swear they are one step away from sleeping side by side in sleeping bags on the floor in front of the TV. They are promising to be each other's maids of honor in their weddings. They tell each other they will be best friends for "life or longer".

Here they are doing some work together yesterday. Jess was catching up on some design projects and Zoe was working her new wooden rattle over her gums.

Laughs for Aunt Jess

Zoe meets her Great-Grandma Hilton

It was a treat - Zoe was her charming self and Grandma Hilton seemed tickled. That's the sweet stuff.

curly sue

She folds in half!

I can suck on my toes from chelsea on Vimeo.

Leaving you hanging

Slow on the posts, I know, but I'm trying to "slurp" this blog into a book (hope to do 4 a year) and it's a lot more work than I thought it would be...and of course it has to be perfect. I have spent a great deal of time on that these past few days and haven't had time for much else. You should see my kitchen.

Zoe can chew on her little toes now, so that's good news. She's also doing some impressive things on the floor...definitely on her way to mobility. Yikes!

Still rolling over in her sleep and not happy when she gets there, so I'm not getting much sleep. I have really attractive bags under my eyes. But, whatever. She'll only be a baby for such a short time that I just don't care that much. I don't want to wish this time away just because I'm tired.

I promise I'll take some new pictures tomorrow. She got an awesome little Mr. Rogers-ish cardigan that needs photographing!

her siblings rule

We had a great weekend with Jack and Josie. They sure do love their little Zoe B, and she is absolutely enamored with them.

Zoe + Daddy = true love

Zoe has a big crush on her Dad these days. She acts all coy and flirty when she's with him - she smiles and then turns away and then looks back slowly. When she's nursing and her Dad is in the room, she'll pull off and stare at him for a while and smile and then go back to nursing only to pull off again a few seconds later. In fact, I usually have to have Travis come and sit down right next to me so she can look at him while she nurses so we can actually get some milk-drinking done.

SUPER CUTE.

A few BULLET POINTS

• Zoe had her 4 month check up this afternoon. She's a big girl...weighing in at 15 lbs, 13 oz and measuring 25.5 inches. 90th percentile for both! CHAMP!

• The shots were ok - I didn't cry. She didn't cry either for the first two, but then she did with the third and fourth. Only for a little bit, though, so it wasn't too bad. I held it together nicely, I must say.

• In other news, she has found her feet. She is trying desperately to get them in her mouth, but she's not quite there yet. Still, she does like to lie on her back and hold on to her right foot with her right hand. It's pretty freakin' cute.

• Still no rolling from her tummy to her back, though Dr. Fisher says that's pretty normal.

• NEW! KING! SIZED! BED! arriving tomorrow which will hopefully improve our co-sleeping situation. Right now we're REALLY cramped in a queen. Not good.
  

Happy Birthday, Aunt Jess!

my cheeks are the chubbiest

Dear Zoe - SLOW DOWN!

Dear Zoe,

Well, it's official. You're 4 months old and it is officially all happening too fast for me. How can you already be rolling over and grabbing things?

You have changed so much just in the last few weeks. Sometimes now when you laugh you do this hilarious little screech at the end, like a finale. God, I love it when you laugh (actually, I love it when you do just about anything - you fart and it makes me smile). That laugh makes me want to run out of the house singing "The Hills are Alive" - I love it THAT MUCH. I'm sure your dad would love it if I did that, too. I figure our neighbors already think we're big weirdos, could a little Maria Von Trapp possibly hurt?

Up until a week or two ago, when you were nursing YOU WERE NURSING. You were focused. You were getting that job DONE. Nothing could divert your attention. Now, you nurse a little and "hey, what's that fan doing?" and the nipple is out of your mouth spraying milk all over the side of your face. "Hey, what's that ringing?" or "someone just walked across the room - who was it?" You are a fair-weather nurser - you are keen to nurse until something better comes along. In fact, I had a TV put in our bedroom so I could watch TV while I nursed and now I can't watch it while I nurse you because there will be no nursing. There will be me and you watching TV. And we all know Grandma Patty would NOT approve.

Another development is your scratching...you love scratching. You scratch on the carpet, you scratch on the baby Bjorn and you scratch the hell out of my chest while you're nursing. A few times I've even had to put socks on your hands while you nurse because you sort of strum my chest like it's a guitar and man, those nails are sharp.

We're still all screwy with the sleep, but who cares. We're ok. You're only a baby for a little while - you'll figure out how to sleep through the night eventually. For now, it is what it is. There are many nights when I nurse you and get you settled back down in bed next to me that I just lie there and stare at you. I can't believe how much I love you, kid. There are no words. People will tell you that the love you feel for your child is like no other, and that certainly is the truth. Nothing could have prepared me for how much I love you. Sometimes I think I'll explode. Or implode. Or shatter. Or burst into flames. Or rocket off into space. I hope you have a child someday so that you can understand how this feels. So you can one day know that your loony mother was just a loony because she loved you so much.

4 month old feet

Feet from chelsea on Vimeo.
Today is Zoe's 4 month birthday. Time flies!

Evidence!

Rolling over from chelsea on Vimeo.

SHE ROLLED OVER!

Zoe rolled over this morning, from her back to her tummy!

I cried. I have totally lost my edge.

Aunt Jess

Zoe's aunt Jess, my beloved sister, wrote me the following email this morning:

I was just looking at the Zoe pictures and thinking how big she is already getting. I really do wish that we lived closer, I am so sad to think of her growing up without knowing me really. I mean, I know that's mildly dramatic, but, you know how when you don't live in the same town as kids do, they really just never are that close to you. Because they are always like "you don't know my routine or the things i really like, you don't even know my favorite song".

And there I will be showing up with presents from new york and trying to force her to hug me and be friends. Sigh. I guess that you will probably tell her all about me and me about her, but somehow it won't be the same. I can't just come over and bite her cheeks and stay up late and give her candy when I'm not supposed to.

Here are what things would be like if I were there or you were here :

1. I would come over and make you and Travis go out so that Zoe and I could lay on the couch and laugh and sing songs by ourselves. I would teach her new noises and we would just talk in our best friend language that you wish you could understand, but you wouldn't be able to because it would be a secret just between best friends.


2. I would put her on the ground and show her how to roll over and she would look really confused and then she would see that I have blue eyes and big cheeks just like her and see that it's in the genes and that if I could roll over, then she could too. Once she rolled over, we would just lay on our backs and laugh and laugh.


3. I would probably never let her cry, even when you are supposed to. I would sneak over to her bed and pick her up and hold her until she wasn't crying and then you could blame me for her being spoiled and then send her to my house for sleepovers.


4. Once she gets older, she will love it when I come over in my fancy high heels and she will put them on with her tiny feet and socks and tromp around in them. I won't worry because she knows how to work those shoes, just like I did when I was her age.


5. She will find my lip gloss and gum in my purse and put it all over her mouth and chin and get the gum stuck in her hair. We will have to cut the gum out of her hair and she will be a little nervous about it, but then I will curl it and she will think it's the most amazing thing ever.


6. She won't want to listen to stupid music like barney, she will want to listen to awesome music, like the kind that she hears in aunt jessica's car, not those lame kid songs.


7. She will consider being a vegetarian and then decide against it, but she will tell everyone she knows that her aunt "won't touch the stuff".

This kind of stuff makes me all weepy. I have become such a sap since I became a mother but I really do feel things more deeply now, I honestly believe that. It changes you in such incredible ways.

I never pictured that Jess and I would have babies in different states, that my child would grow up not getting to spend much time with her. It hurts to think about this. Jessie and I are so close, she's such a huge part of me that I can't stand to think that Zoe won't get to see her very often. And then when she has babies, it will tear me apart not to get to smooch on them daily.

My answer to this, of course, is that Jess and Nick should just move here. Sure, it's not as fast-paced, but it's affordable and they can do their job from anywhere so I think it's about time they started considering it. There's no way in hell we can afford to move to New York (and couldn't anyway because of Josie and Jack) and when it comes time for them start having kids, they'll realize that though Kansas City is a little isolated in the middle of the country, it is a great place to raise a family. I know they won't go for this, but I'm not giving up. Maybe eventually I will be able to wear them down.

charmer

Rolling over

We're pretty busy right now practicing rolling over. She gets sooooo close but is still not quite able to do it. What she is quite able to do, however, is scream and yell while she's trying. It's clearly frustrating her and I practically have to tie my hands behind my back to keep from helping her.

She slept in the swing the entire night last night (waking up every few hours, mind you) because every time I'd put her down in bed she'd sleep for a few minutes and then try to roll over in her sleep. And then scream and yell because she can't do it. I have had to remind her a few times that we have a "no screaming and yelling in the middle of the night" rule in our house. She doesn't seem to be catching on.

In other news, she can successfully grab things now. She usually looks at something for about 10 seconds before she shoves it in her mouth. It's not unlike the way I behave when there are peanut M&Ms around.

Zoe and Grandpa

ridiculously good picture.