Zoe B, teenager

Dear Zoe,

I think I am getting a REALLY good feel for what life will be like when you are a teenager. At a little shy of 3, you are already rolling your eyes at me, sighing in disgust, and have gone in the bedroom and slammed the door. LOUD. You even talk on your princess cell phone and say things like, "No, Kendall, I DON'T want to go to your sleepover."

I have to say, I find it hilarious. I have to try HARD not to laugh when you throw a big fit and you say, "I'M MAD! LOOK AT MY FACE!" Because you're just so cute and funny no matter what you're doing.




Now that you're about to "turn into 3" (as you say), you are really zero-ing in on the upcoming dates of Halloween and your birthday. Here's a conversation we have at least once a week these days:

Zoe: "Mama, there's that pink house I am going to get for my birthday!" (a family up the street has a pink playhouse in their driveway and you are in LOVE with it)
Me: "When is your birthday?"
Zoe: "On Becember 6th and I'm going to turn into 3. And Jack is 7 and Josie is 11 and what's your number, Mom?"
Me: "34."
Zoe: "...and what's Dada's?"
Me: "38."
Zoe: "Oh. Well I'm going to get that pink house for my birthday."

You are going to be Snow White for Halloween. You were CONVINCED you wanted to be Cinderella but the costume we ordered was too big and you couldn't walk in it. There wasn't a smaller size so I asked you what we should do. I was ready for you to MELT because you had been talking about being Cinderella for about a month. But you just said, "I'm going to be Snow White!" Way to roll with it, kid! And I think you're going to be the best, cutest Snow White ever. Grandma Patty is fixing up the costume as we speak and she's going to mail it to us any day now.

Trick or Treat SMELL MY FEET is something you think is awesome and say constantly. I hope you actually say that at people's doors because that would RULE.

Like I mentioned earlier, you are starting to really act like a teenager/3 year old (who knew those two age groups display such similar behavior? Probably everyone but me). You have big fits now if things aren't going JUST the way you want them to or I don't let you do everything yourself, OR if I don't do what you tell me to do. I can sympathize, kid, it's hard. I still try all the time at 34 to make people do what I want. Only I've (somehow) figured out how not to throw myself on the ground every time I don't succeed. Maybe that's what you should focus on.




You are still, of course, absolutely smitten with your brother and sister. On the weekend in the morning, you wake up and rush downstairs and say to Jack,"Dude. Let's play Mario." You seem to be finally big enough to do what they do (although I don't know how you could possibly play Super Mario Galaxy, I can't even play that game) and you LOVE it.

I can't CAN'T believe that you're going to be 3 in a little over a month. One might think I don't understand how time works, and I guess I don't. Though I can't at all remember my life without you in it, I also still think of you as my little baby girl and can't accept that you're growing up so fast. Please stay little a bit longer, my sweet. PLEASE.

I love you,
Mama

Michigan 2010 by Grandma Patty

Dear Zoe,

Paradise isn’t just a beautiful village in the upper peninsula of Northern Michigan; it’s four weeks of the summer with you Zoe B and all those you love. Nirvana would be 8 weeks, but you don’t have to think about that because you are always in that sweet place.



Zoe, you are so good and sweet at being 2 1/2 years old. You seem much older than that. What an aura of contentment you have. That means you seem to be happy and at ease most all the time. To wake up and laugh first thing in the morning, Zoe you make my heart sing. I can imagine waking up every morning and hearing your voice; it would be the best way to start my day. It’s not just a doting Grandma speaking; it is beauty, warmth, fun and laughter. It makes my home have a special sheen, kind of like when a baby is born in your bedroom. Do you remember Chelsea when Jessie was born? It was golden light.

Sam and Tansy, the furry friends who live here, were your delight as you meandered out to the kitchen. They were happy to wait as you filled their bowls and laughed and admired them twirling around your legs. I suspect Sam’s recent lack of enthusiasm for his same-old-kibble may be related to your absence. But I really think he misses how much you threw the ball for him. I miss your help with him too. He NEVER wants to stop playing ball.



One of the true gifts of getting older is how much I appreciate the things that I love; being with my babies is what I love. So you non-sentimental folks, just switch to youtube and be done with me.
Going to the beach is what we do in Michigan in the summer. The waves are as big as an ocean; the water isn’t salty and this year the great lakes are warmer than ever. The water is clear and the bottom isn’t mucky or rocky. The beach is wide and the sand is close to white and pretty fine. We hang there and build castles, run in the streams formed by odd wind changes eat, drink, swim, bury ourselves and pretend we’re whatever we want to be. Mostly we are in love with life. Chelsea reminds me that I’m never allowed to leave northern Michigan; she rails about the weather in Kansas and generally remembers why she loved growing up in northern Michigan.

This year you had not one, but two tubing adventures on the Platte River. Zoe, you are now a solo tuber. Your momma thought for sure that you’d want to share a tube with her on your first cruise down the river; but no, she wound up swimming or walking so you could have it to yourself. You even had a little snooze in your tube at the end of the trip. Way to recreate Zoe. On the second trip you were a regular tube master. Ten of us on the river: Colin, Jess, Aaron, Michael, Brian, Kieran, Eileen momma and me. You are now an experienced squirt gunner as well. Girl you amaze me. That would have been the ultimate perfect summer day if the 50 million flies hadn’t waited for us at the mouth of Lake Michigan. But we made it to the cars and saved the day!


It was really great to have Josie and Jack for two weeks of the time you were in Michigan. Remember how much fun you three had running on the trampoline at Torch Lake. I have such great pictures of that day. Who cares if it rains, right? You are very fortunate to have such a great brother and sister.



Zoe B what a great sail we had on Phil’s boat this summer. You were so brave to jump into your momma’s ever loving arms into the deep water. Life jacket required of course. Aunt Jess twirled you around in the water for your usual best friend good time. Poor J.J. was broken heart-hearted to leave you again.





I was saved from heart-sickness by the fact that I’m going to see you again this month in Chicago. And I can’t wait!

You surprised me with how often you seem to be thinking about what is going on around you and then talking about it. One day you said, “ Remember grandma when I didn’t want to hold your hand in the parking lot and I cried and cried. And then we saw that pig walking down the street and we laughed and laughed.” I can’t imagine forgetting that. Nobody’s that smart at 2 ½.

Your little green swing on my deck is really empty without you Zoe. Oh how I love to push you up in the swing, up in the sky so blue. I do think it is the pleasantest thing ever a grandma can do.

I don’t think we blew enough bubbles, did we? I’m sure we didn’t eat near enough ice cream. And I’ll always read you one more book. So I’m bringing some with me and we’ll head out for vanilla with sprinkles. See you soon my sweetest angel.

I Love you. Grandma Patty

September 2010

Dear Zoe B,

I know I have been completely negligent about updating this website. Your Grandpa David is about to ex-communicate me from the family. He's one of your absolute biggest fans, Zoe B, and that makes you a very lucky girl. It's just so much happens and the longer I go, well you know...the harder it gets to keep things updated.

We had a GREAT summer. Michigan was perfect and you absolutely loved being at your Grandma Patty's house for a whole month. Dogs and cats and beaches and boats and tubing and ice cream almost every single day.

Your Grandma's going to write a letter for you about your trip, so I won't say anything more about your awesome Michigan summer.


Let's talk about what a big girl you are, shall we?

"My birthday is on Becember 6th and I'm going to turn into three."

THREE?



You are very into playing with your doctor kit lately. You actually didn't even have one, but your Grandpa Russell and Grandma Jackie took you on a date to the mall and one of the things you came home with was a Dora Goes to the Doctor book (you also came home with the most fabulous stuffed Owl named Miss Hoots who is very well accessorized indeed). After reading this book 100 times, you started walking around banging the hell out of everyone's knees with your version of a reflex hammer which happened to be a wooden toy hammer.

So - off your Dad went to Target to get you a Dr. kit with a hammer that might leave all of our knees in better shape. We play A LOT of doctor around here. Someone always needs a shot or has a broken arm. You're still a little rough with the hammer, but you'll learn.

You have gotten kind of hard to photograph - well, photograph well I should say. You put on this ridiculous smile that is such a far cry from your real smile that I can't even take the picture without laughing.

I'm going to make that a goal this fall - to get out the good camera and try and get some good shots of you. It's good to have goals, even if you never meet them. http://m.npr.org/story/129528196

I love you, my sweet angel baby.

Mama

A letter from Aunt Jess

Dear "The Most Awesome Person Alive: Zoe B., 2 and 1/2",

I just got back from spending the fourth of july week-end with you and your family and I have to tell you, you're basically the coolest person who has ever lived. You have gotten SO BIG that I cannot even believe it. The last time I saw you was at christmas, which was 6 months ago. It might as well have been 6 years - you are like an adult now. Except cooler than an adult. By a lot.




You and your momma picked me up at the airport and you were shy for about 2 minutes - then you remembered that we're best friends. I also picked you right up and smooched all over you and you looked at me like - well, ok, you seem to look like me and act like me - so I'll let you smooch on my cheeks. You were really excited about the planes and the buses all around us.
You said "I wish I could go on a plane.... I wish I could go on a bus.... Can I go on a bus momma?"
Your momma said - "not right now, but we will soon ok?"
You said to me "My momma says, not right now."
I can't believe she can say no to you at all because you are so absolutely adorable when you say it and make everything you ask for seem totally reasonable. The Bauer-Greene force is strong with you my love.

Anyway, right then and there I decided that I would do anything you wanted because we're soulmates and if I don't spoil you like the awesome person that you are then who will? So here is what we did

* We blew bubbles and you laughed and laughed - especially when you blew them right into my face.



* I pushed you on the swing and pretended you were crashing into me everytime and you laughed so hard.
* We twirled around to the song on your new princess phone, I made up the words and you and I danced to it for like 150 million times. It was so completely great. (The song was to a waltz and went like this: "we're twirling around...around...around, we're twirling around, around, around... we're twirling around and arounnnnd and we fall down on our butts bu-bu-butts.) Then you would say "LET'S DO IT AGAIN AUNT JESSIE!" and I would say "OK!"
* We went swimming at grandpa david's house and you showed me how really excellent you are at jumping into the water
* We went to the movies and saw what you called "Toys thattalk" which was Toy Story 3 and you thought it was fun - but we did have to take a break in the middle to go get some m&ms and run down the corridor a few times. But really, who doesn't need to do that at the movies?
* we went to a clifford exhibit downtown where you were the cutest of all the kids and everyone knew to get out of your way because you are so awesome.




* We went to target and got groceries to make cupcakes and you helped put all of them in the cart and on the conveyor belt to check out. While your momma paid you and I twirled around with you in my arms and i gave you smooches on the neck. You thought this so so tickle-y so you tried to lick my face to make me stop. Whatever dude, try and gross me out by licking my face - IT WON'T WORK.
* We took naps together where you would snuggle up to me for a little bit, but then scooch back over to your mom and say 'i want huggies momma. I want you momma.' I just about died from adorable.
* We also had slumber parties together - you and your mom and I slept in the same giant bed and you would want to talk and talk and not go to sleep. The best was when you rolled over to me, put your arm around my neck - patted my cheek and said "hey chubby". Good one kid.
* We read soooo many books and you read them to me too - you have the best memory ever, you can almost recite pages by heart! If I tried to jump in you'd say "Don't say MY WORDS Jessie!"



* We took baths and I let you pour in the bubbles...you of course dumped in ALL of the bubbles but I was like..that's cool with me, so we just took a bath with sky high bubbles. There really are no worries when you're with your best friend.
* We ate so much sugar your mom said I would be responsible for your diabetes when you get older - but she just doesn't get that soulmates like us can eat endless sugar - it just fuels the coolness you know?

I had so much fun with you sweet girl, you really are such a source of joy in my life. I thought you might be sad to see me go but you were all "BYE!" and I was glad because if you would have cried I would have had to stay to make you happy. I would do ANYTHING for that bright smile and high pitched laugh.

If I'm ever having a bad day I can pull up a movie of you and feel better after watching it, I can video chat with you and it reminds me of what the really important things are in life. I am learning those important things are to be happy, to enjoy every moment and to have a great sense of wonder about this crazy world we live in and I'm learning it all from you. Of course. You're Zoe B., 2 and 1/2.

Please never stop...

Zoe,

Please never stop saying the following things:

* MilkSugar. You call milkshakes by the name of MilkSugar. It is adorable.

* Ketchup Eggs. You refer to eggs as Ketchup Eggs - as you eat your eggs with ketchup.

* Fridge-id-dator. 'Nuff said.

* Lalla Bar. This is how you say granola bar.

And please PLEASE never stop saying your age after your name like it's your credentials. "I'm Zoe B, two and a half."

Thanks. Carry on.

Half and Two

Dear Zoe,

You are now "half-and-two" as you sometimes say. Spunky as all get out.



Some noteworthy conversations with the half and two year old:

Me: "Do you want some more milk?"
Zoe: "No, I'm good." (this you learned from your big sister)

Me: "Look, I downloaded this game for you..."
Zoe: "I 'ever saw that! That is so awwweesome!"

Me: "It's Daddy's birthday, today."
Zoe: "Yeah, it's not my birthday."
Me: "When is your birthday?"
Zoe: "Tuesday."

Me: "It's time for bed, Zoe B."
Zoe: "Here's the thing...I just want to read a little book for a little while, ok?"

Me: "Let me help you."
Zoe: "No! I'm a big girl!"


Hey remember that weaning thing I was talking about in my last letter? Well, you blew my mind with that, kiddo. I stopped the morning nursing and you protested a bit, but then stopped asking to nurse altogether - even when going to bed! What I thought would be a slow process...maybe 2-3 months, you knocked out in a week. Seriously. Way to show me up, dude.

Here's a shot from your big girl party, which you decided to have at Chuck E. Cheese. Who knew that Elton John sunglasses were in the prize case?!?



This month we went to the hot air balloon festival, which was pretty cool if you don't count the 50 minutes we spent standing in line to buy a $5 corn dog from a 6 year old kid. You loved the balloons, and when we finally got that corn dog you really loved that, too.





It's officially summer now, so we're doing a lot of swimming, staying up late, eating "vanilla-chocolate-sandwiches" (ice cream sandwiches) and playing outside. In a little over a month we'll be in Michigan where we can summer properly (not die of heat stroke and swim in actual lakes). Hooray!



This summer is going to be all kinds of fun, little girl. I just know it.

I love you,
Mama-sita

Dear Zoe B

Dear "I Do It MYself" Zoe B,

Holy crap you're almost 2 and 1/2! Just typing that makes me want to smash my head into my keyboard and sob. I can't believe you are growing up so fast. PLEASE. STOP. For the love of god, kid. Stop growing so fast.

Still, you are more and more marvelous every day, which I guess has to be possible because it is happening before my very eyes. Life is magic. Never forget that.

We are just about to start the process of weaning. My breastfeeding goal was 2 years and you're almost 2.5, so I think we win. Plus, I think you're ready because you are getting so independent it's absurd. You want to do EVERYTHING by yourself, including drive the car. You're nothing if not ambitious. I figure if you think you can drive a car on your own, you can figure out how to fall asleep without nursing first.

You're only nursing at sleep times now, so I think it'll be fairly easy (probably harder on me than you). I have promised you a "big girl party" and you're very excited about that idea. Cupcakes at a park? You're IN. You have made that very clear.




One of my favorite things that you're doing right now happens when you see something that surprises you (like a field of cows or an ice cream store). You wrinkle up your nose and open your mouth WIDE and then say, "THAT IS SO COOOOOL!!" You look at me like, "Are you seein' this shit??"

The other big favorite these days is when you say, "this pencil is just perfect," when you get a pencil out, or "my little blankie is just perfect." I'll tell you what's just perfect, my little bean, and it's not that pencil.

You love to play outside and especially at the playground, where you are an adept little monkey climber. You get there, walk up to the slide or climbing wall, remove your shoes and get to work. It's pretty impressive.




You are a little ray of light in everyone's life. Jack and Josie are always thrilled to see you when they come back from their mom's, your Dad's eyes brighten when he walks in the door from work. I recently read a blog post that was full of amazing insight. My favorite bit was this:

"We don't have children - adopt them or give birth to them or summon them by stork - as a favor to them. They come to us as a favor to us. They are a gift to us. They rescue us."

That is exactly how I feel. You have been a gift to me, a favor to me, you have rescued me. And I am so lucky. And forever grateful.

I love you, my sweet angel baby,
Mama

Chicago, Detroit road trip

I AM ZOE B

Me: "You are so lucky."

Zoe: "No! I'm not lucky!"

Me: "Why not?"

Zoe: "Because I. AM. ZOE B!"

Dear jet-setting Zoe

Just LOOK at you, kid!

In February we went to Florida with Grandma Patty, and this month we went to see Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Russell in Arizona. You are quite the jet-setter.

We have been so busy that I've hardly had time to write on this website and my Dear Zoe letter is later than EVER (well, ridiculously late if you consider Grandma Patty wrote last month's).

You had a FABULOUS time in Arizona. You spent lots of time with your brother and sister and you were especially glued to your cousin Sophie. You'd wake up in the morning and say, "Is Soph awake?"








You had a great time in the pool engaging in all sorts of shenanigans with the big kids. You are definitely one of the big kids now, dude. Weird.

This month you have started the "but why?"only it's not annoying, it's totally cute. You kind of pucker up your lips and say, "but why?" like you will never be able to comprehend why it's not such a great idea to sit on the edge of your learning tower and try to turn on the faucet with your feet.

Your dad occasionally says "ma'am" to you and your sister...he'll say, "thank you, ma'am" or "of course, ma'am." Naturally you have picked this up, too. I told you to get in the car the other day and you said, "Well ok, MA'AM!"

You're sleeping in your big girl bed like a champ and you're down to nursing just at sleep times and you're rollin' with that better than I ever thought you would. You're so grown up, Zoe B!

I love you, my sweet bean. So much. More every single day.

Mama