4 birthday!

Dear 4 Year Old Zoe,

Wow, I just typed that. Weird.

How are you FOUR? HOW, I ask?

It feels like just a few months ago I had a little tiny cry that I weaned you at a little over 2. And only a few months ago that you learned to walk. Holding up your arms like a little ape.

Time flies, kid. You don't think so now but holy shit time flies. You'll see.

The 4 year old you is delightful. You're not as defiant as you were at 3.5 and you're sassier than you were at 2. You're spunky and sweet and hilarious and so much fun to be around. The other day you told your dad he smelled like armpits and then smiled at him with your sweet little cherubic face - as if you'd just told him he'd won father of the year. Atta girl.

You have learned to write your name (still have a little bit of trouble with the Z - sometimes it looks like ...well, not exactly a Z) and you can write out words if I help with spelling. It's amazing. One day you could suddenly do it. Funny how that works.

Your 4 birthday, as you called it, was SO much fun. You were so into it this year and we celebrated the crap out of it. Three big, huge celebrations for your birthday. We decided to forego the "kids party" after last year's Chuck E. Cheese debacle and opted to take you and Gabby to the mall to do lunch, Build A Bear, carousel rides and ice cream. You guys had a BLAST.

For your family party, we had Grandpa David, Grandpa Russell, Grandma Jackie, Aunt Jill, Uncle Mark, Sophie, Dominic, Jack and Josie and we did a Hello Kitty pinata, pizza and pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is your new favorite dessert and you requested it in lieu of cake. 

Since your birthday was on a Tuesday, both of the OTHER celebrations took place on the weekend so we celebrated AGAIN on your real birthday. You took cinnamon bread to school (your choice) and we had lasagne for dinner and cupcakes for dessert. You only ate the frosting. 

We are having so much fun. We're all going bananas with excitement over Christmas (everyone's coming here this year). You have a preschool Christmas program on Thursday in which you'll be singing Christmas songs - only you can never seem to remember which ones. 

I love you so much, my peanut. These last four years have been the best of my life. I am so lucky. 

Love, 

Mama

A letter from Grandma Patty

November 19, 2011

Dear Zoe,

I am writing to you on what would have been my Momma’s 93rd birthday. I know she would have loved YOU! And you would have loved her, she was great fun – ask your Momma.

My recent visit with you was SO much fun. I just can’t wait to come back at Christmas. I especially miss our night time snuggles in bed together. I loved watching you and your Momma playing soccer; it was so funny when she snuck up behind you and pulled your pants down and you laughed so hard. I don’t know
if you realize how much fun your family has together. Lots of families don’t laugh nearly as much as you guys do. Or put up silly and loving things on the blackboard wall.

It was a special treat for me to be a guest at your preschool last week. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I was honored to sit in Mrs. Hawkins chair and talk with your class about your Michigan summer and show them your Michigan book.

Breaking that piñata with you was so much fun and my hand didn’t hurt a bit after taking a hit. The ice was a charm.

When you read this, I hope you will have gotten your birthday present from me. I can’t wait to see you with it! Please send me a picture or show me on video chat. OK?

I talked to Jessie today and told her what a great big sister you are to Junie and how much you make her laugh. I told her about us seeing the deer and squirrels at the Nature Center, as well as the snakes and owls and the red-tailed hawk. She will likely want to go to the Nature Center when she comes at Christmas too. Won’t that be fun?

I want to plan to make gingerbread people with you, as well as Christmas cookies when I come back in December. I’ll bring all the decorations. (Are you sure you can’t talk your Mom into letting me bring Sammy?)

You are Grandma’s special treat. Every time I see you,Angel, you have grown and learned new things, but you are always that same sweet, loving, fun girl and I feel blessed to be your grandmother.

I love you Zoe-B.

Grandma Patty

Zoe B, 1 month shy of 4 years old

Dear Zoe,

I am SO behind on this blog and DAILY you do and say things that remind me that I need to get all of this down but life is crazy with 4 kids in the house. Ya hear? CRAZY UP IN THIS BITCH.

As an almost 4 year old with a birthday one month away, you are busy planning it all out. You insist that all birthday celebrations need a piñata with candy AND toys that fall out. I'm with you, kiddo. The more Mexican celebratory events, the better. You were going to have a Totoro/Hello Kitty party but after last year's total disaster of a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, I pitched you the idea of taking Gabby to the mall and doin' it up just the two of you. Luckily, you'll all over it. Score one for Mama.

You're asking for a Sit n' Spin and a Barbie Jeep. A huge ride-on Barbie Jeep. Way to aim big! I can't believe I'm actually typing this way but I'm going to try and dissuade you from the Jeep and point you toward the .... wait for it... ESCALADE. Not only because - duh - the more bling the better but because it actually looks bigger and not like a toddler toy. But we'll see.

You're also very excited about Christmas coming up. So much so that you walk around singing, "Decorate the halls with jolly" which is probably the best Christmas song ever. This Christmas is going to RULE because all of our family is coming to our house. It's going to be a lot of decorating the halls with jolly.

You're trying out a bunch of new words these days. Phrases like, "I am going to address that this bike is bigger than that bike." or "Look at my compression ball." or "Daddy, let's play Ardamendo library." Ardamendo? Huh?

Some of your pronunciations are also awesome - instead of "also" you say "oh so", so it sounds like you're adding emphasis instead of meaning in addition to. "I oh so oh so want you get orange juice at the store." I love it. You also say "last day" instead of yesterday or a few days ago. "Gabby and I did that last day." One of your new favorite things to say is "aye yai yai" (how the eff do you spell that?). Junie will spit up and you'll say, "aye yai yai, Junie, stop puking!"

You are LOVING preschool and you do a lot of pretend playing that you're at school. You even asked me if there is an iPad app where you go into the Elephant room and find your hook and have a job like counter or weather girl, etc. Your best friends at school are Carly and Abby - but ESPECIALLY Carly. You adore her.

There's a lot more to say but right now you're wanting me to play with you on the iPad and Junie is screeching like a pterodactyl because she's sleepy.

I'm having so much fun being your mom, kiddo. I love everything about you. I love that you're strong and bossy and funny and weird and awesome and sweet and sharp as a tack. I love that when you're mad sometimes you say, "I need some Zoe time" and you go into your room and slam the door. I love it even more that sometimes when you're having a hard time you say, "I think I need some Mama-Zoe time."

I love you, baby. My big almost 4 year old baby.
xx Mama

Zoe B, preschooler

Hi Kiddo! Time is flying by - I'm sorry that I'm such a slackerific blogger these days but we have been BUSY. First, you started freakin' preschool, dude! Look at you!

I was more than a little nervous about the separation because it's an entirely new experience for you to be away from a family member or close friend but YOU ROCKED IT! You just went right in and did your thing and didn't even look back.

Your teacher's name is Mrs. Hawkins and she is VERY nice. She's got that magic preschool teacher thing going on - she got you to open up right away. Your classroom is called the Elephant Room and right now you have 3 other girls and two boys in your class. Today is actually your first show and tell, I can't wait to hear how it goes.
(Speaking of the word ACTUALLY, it is your new favorite word - you say it ALL THE TIME. "It's not dessert night, ACTUALLY.")

I'm SO proud of you. Also a little teary because I can't believe my little bean is already in preschool, but mostly I'm excited for you. Life is full of new adventures and you're diving in. That's the best way, pumpkin.

We spent three awesome weeks in Michigan and you loved it, of course. You cried when we left and it just cemented for me that we need to spend at least a month there in the summer. It's part of who I am and it's becoming part of you are, too. Hooray for Michigan!

We also just got back from a whirlwind trip to NYC for Aunt Jess's wedding. You are such a good traveler. You hang right in there with early morning flights and subways and all of it.

You were the flower girl in the wedding but you hated it. I don't blame you. Not only did you not know what to expect, it was a lot of the stuff you hate; people making a big deal out of you. You and Grandma P walked in and everyone starting hootin' and holleriin' and you burst into tears. But later Aunt Jess said it took some of the pressure off, so there was a little added bonus to your little meltdown. You had a great time after the ceremony, though. Especially with the photo booth - check this photo out.

You're digging being in charge of the camera, Junie is drinking beer, and I look exhausted. So perfect!
I love you, beanie. You're such an awesome little human.

xxMama

Zoe B : The Holy Terror Edition

Dear Zoe,

Today Grandma Patty posted this on Facebook,"You're nobody until someone calls you bossy." -Tina Fey

I think that pretty much says it all. Right? What I'm saying is YOU'RE SOMEBODY, KID!



I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about you growing up to be a pushover, which is good. I'm glad you are following along in your mother's, aunt's and grandmother's footsteps. Bossy broads unite!

I have to say, though, things are a little difficult these days because you're constantly bossing me around, yelling orders at me and scowling up a storm. I know it's hard when people don't do what you want them to do. I struggle with this STILL. I KNOW BEST - JUST DO WHAT I WANT! Yet, it doesn't work that way.

I think right now you're sort of stuck in a funny place of wanting to still be a little one and at the same time wanting to be a big kid. You still want a ton of attention and are now wanting us to do things for you that you used to beg to do yourself. On the other hand, when you are with your friends or Jack and Josie or your cousins, you are so eager to be JUST LIKE THEM. Sleep upstairs, watch big kid shows, play by yourself outside. Plus, you're so smart I think sometimes we forget you're just a little wee girl.




Preschool starts in a few months and I'm very excited for you. I think you're a little nervous about separating from me, but I think once you get comfortable you're going to absolutely LOVE IT. You've been taking a tumbling class with Gabby and you adore your teacher and are totally comfortable there after just a few classes. So I have high hopes. It will be good for all of us.

You are such a good big sister, Zoe B. You LOVE your little Junie so much. Sometimes when she cries you say, "Oh! I think she needs me!" I bet in a few years you guys are totally going to team up and take us on. I know I'm in trouble. BIG trouble.

Pretty soon things are going to kick into high gear - we're going to New York for Jessie's "brivate shower" (as you say), then two weeks later we're off to Michigan for three weeks and shortly after we return we're back to New York for Jessie's wedding. ROCK AND ROLL!

You are so much fun, Zoe B. You say the funniest things. The other day when your dad was in the shower you opened the bathroom door and said, "FART!" and closed it and ran off. You are clearly our daughter. As if there was any question.




I love you so much, kiddo. I look at you sometimes and wonder how on earth you've turned into such a brilliant, hilarious, determined, and loving person in such a short time. You've only been on the earth 3.5 years and you are such a FORCE! I love it. And I love you. So much I could cry.

Love Love Love,

Mama

Zoe B, 3 and 1/2

Dear Zoe,

Remember when you were two and a half and you used to say, "I'm Zoe B, 2 and 1/2"? Like it was your credentials? Well, now that you're 3 and 1/2, you don't do that any more because you're practically an adult. More teenager-ish than your 12 year old sister these days, I swear.

The other day I asked Josie to set the table and you flipped out because YOU wanted to set the table (I didn't ask you because the last time you set the table you burned out after you did the napkins and a table with only napkins and plates isn't exactly SET if you know what I mean). Josie, being the agreeable person that she is, handed the plates over to you so you could set the table. But the whole thing was so offensive to you at that point that you no longer wanted to set the table and while I was in the pantry getting out dinner ingredients you opened the pantry door, threw the paper plates at me and walked away.

See? What are you, 14?

You are SO MUCH FUN, though. I know I'm biased, but there has never been a funnier kid than you. No kid has ever been so much fun. Almost everything is fun with you - you just have such a knack for making everything awesome. I'm not surprised or anything because you've been like that since you were born.

One of my favorite things that you do right now is pretend to talk on the phone. You say things like, "Well, Aunt Jessie, I don't know when you're coming here but when you do I'm going to play princess phone with you and then we can twirl and everything BUT (tons of emphasis on the "but") you live in New York and you're there and how's Sophie?" You kill me.




You have also decided that the word "dude" has some sort of negative connotation - probably because of me. I say things like, "Dude! Slow down!" to other drivers and what not. So when Josie and Jack bum you out in some way, you call them dudes. The other day you said to me, "Josie and Jack are dudes because they ate all the popcorn."

Here's a question: what is with all this clothes-changing? You probably change your clothes 7 times a day and that is NOT an exaggeration. I guess it's probably because now all of your clothes are accessible to you and you can dress yourself completely. I'd say about 1/4 of the wardrobe changes are due to potty accidents and the rest are purely for practical or fashion purposes. It's funny. And kind of annoying because with all of this clothes changing and Junie's constant spitting up, we are drowning in laundry. But whatever - you'll only be 3 and a half and maniacally changing your clothes for a short time. I can live with it. I know someday I'll be wishing you were still little and changing your clothes 40 times a day instead of all grown up and too cool for me.

Speaking of Junie, you are such a good big sister. You love her so much - you love to make her smile and I can tell you're very excited for her to grow up a little so you guys can play. When we wake up in the morning, you're usually much more excited to see her than you are to see me. You have had a few episodes of blaming something on having a baby sister, but that's mostly stopped and I know you didn't really feel that way. Well, maybe you did for five minutes. But I know you know Junie is a little sweetie pie and that you'll be BFFs soon.




Guess what? I love you TO PIECES. You're magic, Zoe B. You really are.

Love,
Mama

Dear Zoe

Dear Zoe,

God I SUCK at this lately. When you were a baby it was so much easier...we weren't so busy and I had tons of time to sit and blog about how you were growing. Now, we are on the move all! the! time! it seems and the longer I go the more I know I should write and then it all becomes very overwhelming.

You are a very big girl. Which makes me want to curl up in the corner and sob sometimes because I can't believe how fast you've grown, but in other ways it's so much fun to be able to do all kinds of new things with you. It's so fun to pick you up from Grandpa David's and say, "Let's go get root beer floats!" and have you say, "Great idea!" It's awesome, for instance, that you are big enough to grab my car keys, open your automatic car door and go get your Barbie phone out of the car by yourself. By yourself! It's awesome that you say funny things like, "Let's go, turds!" when it's time to get in the car.




You are very independent most of the time - when you want to be. When you don't want to be, well...watch out. You have been known to get right in my face and say things like "I want milk RIGHT NOW and I'M NOT WAITING." Hmmm.....

Every time I say something about you being bossy, your dad says, "Weird, I wonder where she gets it?" The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, kid, and you come from quite a line-up of bossy broads. Your Aunt Mary Ann told me recently that someone told her she seemed like the kind of person that likes to try and control everything - to which she responded, "And there's something wrong with that?" I say go with it.

You are overall SUCH a happy kid. I LOVE how happy you are - and it's contagious. In February we spent a week in Detroit with Grandma Patty, Aunt Jess and our Bauer family because our Aunt Barb passed away. It was a really sad time for all us but having you there made it all so much easier. You were like a little ray of light.




I have to mention this love/hate relationship you have with people in costumes - like mascots. You hated Chuck E. Cheese but you love the dog mascot outside of PetCo waving at cars. You really hated the timberwolf and dog mascots at Jack's school carnival, but you somehow found this video on the internet of a person dressed as bigfoot parading through New York City that you love to watch. You talk about them all the time - how they are just people under there and how they are NOT coming to our house. I guess I get it, when I went to Alaska I was terrified of grizzly bears but I couldn't put down this book called Alaskan Bear Tales.

Right now we are waiting for a new baby to join our family. You are very excited. You keep saying, "when our baby comes I'm going to teach her _______". It's very cute. I really think you'll do great and you'll be a much better big sister than I was in the beginning. You have been very sweet to me as I've gotten bigger and bigger and less able to do fun stuff. I think the big sister role will come quite naturally to you.

We are also gearing up for Aunt Jessie's wedding in September. You want to be the flower girl and so you're planning what dress you'll wear. Every week or so it changes and you pick out some dress you already have and declare that to be your dress. I imagine we'll have a lot of fun picking out the real dress you'll wear.




You are also VERY excited to start preschool in the fall. You talk about how you'll learn all kinds of things in preschool and how you'll have one teacher just like Jack has one teacher. I can't believe you're old enough now to start preschool - arrgghhh! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

I love you so much, my sweet bean. Sometimes I just look at you and marvel at how much joy you've brought to all of us. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I know you'll read this someday and roll your eyes because your mom's a huge sappy loser, but it's all true so you can just ... stick that up your butt and blow it out.

Smooches,
Mama

p.s.
Here's a photo of you and your dad bowling. Check out your stance - sass!

A Letter from Grandma Patty

Dear Zoe,

It’s been 8 days since I kissed your little face goodbye at the airport. We were both sad because we knew that we would miss each other. I really wish we lived closer together too. Someday I hope to have so much time off that I can go to your house whenever I want to and stay as long as I want; and of course you’ll keep coming to see me in the summer for a month or more.




We are having a big snowstorm here; it has snowed all week long, a little bit each day, but now it’s going to be really deep. Tonight, Sam loved it outside and wouldn’t come in. He was covered in snow and looked like a white dog when I finally got him inside the house.

Are you enjoying all your new toys? You got some great gifts. I am enjoying my gifts also, but my best present was being with you and your wonderful family. I loved being on the carousel with you; wasn’t that a beautiful panda that you rode?! I really like to go to the playground with you; it’s nice to have that so close to your house. Are you still playing the Kai Lan Super Game Day on the Wii? You are really good at that. I bet Josie and Jack play with you too.




Is Momma’s belly getting even bigger? It won’t be that long before you’ll have a new baby at your house and you will be the big sister. I’m sure that will be exciting. I will come and play with you and help your Momma when she needs me. So, look for me in March or maybe sooner.




I’d give anything to send this letter through the mail slot on your pink house.

All my love, and kisses and hugs.

Gramma Patty

1/7/11

(68 years ago tomorrow my mom and dad were married)

Zoe B, 3

Ah, it's been way too long. Life has been NUTS around here.

Beginning in November, we had a lot of visitors and LOTS of action. Aunt Jess surprised me for my birthday (and you!), which ruled.



Then, we found out you're going to have a little sister. I am SO excited for you (and for all of us)! I hope having a little sister turns out to be as fun for you has it has been for me. I bet you'll be a lot easier on your little sister than I was on mine, too.



For Thanksgiving, we went to Branson again with Grandma Jackie, Grandpa Russell, Uncle Mark, Aunt Jill, Caitie, Sophie and Dominic. You had THE GREATEST time. You are a total Sophie groupie and was so excited to be staying in a hotel with her. You woke up every morning and said, "Where's Sophie? Can we go to her room?"

While in Branson, we went to Silver Dollar City and you rode your first real rides. You went on the teacups, the elephant ride and the haunted mine. You were all over it. Here you are with your handsome daddy on the elephants.



Next comes the best part, your BIRTHDAY. You had been talking about your birthday since...um, September? "When I turn into 3, I'm going to get a pink house." Some neighbors up the street had a pink playhouse on their driveway that you thought was the bee's knees. So, we had a lot of buildup. Pink house mania was reaching fever pitch. God, I'm glad Aunt Jess was here for the first week of pink-house ownership because she plays anything you want all the time so you were in heaven.




We had your birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, which turned out to be both awesome and horrible. The first half was awesome - you were so excited, you played games with your friends and then...it went to shit. A person dressed up in a Chuck E. Cheese costume came out to your birthday table and scared the crap out of you and continued to scare the crap out of you for the following few weeks (well, the memory of him did). Hell, it's January 17 as I type this and every now and then you still mention how much you don't like Chuckie.


I'm so far behind this is going to have to be a two-parter. I'll go ahead and post this to get your Grandpa David off my back and then I'll come back and work on part 2 - St. Louis and Christmas!

Zoe B, teenager

Dear Zoe,

I think I am getting a REALLY good feel for what life will be like when you are a teenager. At a little shy of 3, you are already rolling your eyes at me, sighing in disgust, and have gone in the bedroom and slammed the door. LOUD. You even talk on your princess cell phone and say things like, "No, Kendall, I DON'T want to go to your sleepover."

I have to say, I find it hilarious. I have to try HARD not to laugh when you throw a big fit and you say, "I'M MAD! LOOK AT MY FACE!" Because you're just so cute and funny no matter what you're doing.




Now that you're about to "turn into 3" (as you say), you are really zero-ing in on the upcoming dates of Halloween and your birthday. Here's a conversation we have at least once a week these days:

Zoe: "Mama, there's that pink house I am going to get for my birthday!" (a family up the street has a pink playhouse in their driveway and you are in LOVE with it)
Me: "When is your birthday?"
Zoe: "On Becember 6th and I'm going to turn into 3. And Jack is 7 and Josie is 11 and what's your number, Mom?"
Me: "34."
Zoe: "...and what's Dada's?"
Me: "38."
Zoe: "Oh. Well I'm going to get that pink house for my birthday."

You are going to be Snow White for Halloween. You were CONVINCED you wanted to be Cinderella but the costume we ordered was too big and you couldn't walk in it. There wasn't a smaller size so I asked you what we should do. I was ready for you to MELT because you had been talking about being Cinderella for about a month. But you just said, "I'm going to be Snow White!" Way to roll with it, kid! And I think you're going to be the best, cutest Snow White ever. Grandma Patty is fixing up the costume as we speak and she's going to mail it to us any day now.

Trick or Treat SMELL MY FEET is something you think is awesome and say constantly. I hope you actually say that at people's doors because that would RULE.

Like I mentioned earlier, you are starting to really act like a teenager/3 year old (who knew those two age groups display such similar behavior? Probably everyone but me). You have big fits now if things aren't going JUST the way you want them to or I don't let you do everything yourself, OR if I don't do what you tell me to do. I can sympathize, kid, it's hard. I still try all the time at 34 to make people do what I want. Only I've (somehow) figured out how not to throw myself on the ground every time I don't succeed. Maybe that's what you should focus on.




You are still, of course, absolutely smitten with your brother and sister. On the weekend in the morning, you wake up and rush downstairs and say to Jack,"Dude. Let's play Mario." You seem to be finally big enough to do what they do (although I don't know how you could possibly play Super Mario Galaxy, I can't even play that game) and you LOVE it.

I can't CAN'T believe that you're going to be 3 in a little over a month. One might think I don't understand how time works, and I guess I don't. Though I can't at all remember my life without you in it, I also still think of you as my little baby girl and can't accept that you're growing up so fast. Please stay little a bit longer, my sweet. PLEASE.

I love you,
Mama

A letter from Aunt Jess

Dear "The Most Awesome Person Alive: Zoe B., 2 and 1/2",

I just got back from spending the fourth of july week-end with you and your family and I have to tell you, you're basically the coolest person who has ever lived. You have gotten SO BIG that I cannot even believe it. The last time I saw you was at christmas, which was 6 months ago. It might as well have been 6 years - you are like an adult now. Except cooler than an adult. By a lot.




You and your momma picked me up at the airport and you were shy for about 2 minutes - then you remembered that we're best friends. I also picked you right up and smooched all over you and you looked at me like - well, ok, you seem to look like me and act like me - so I'll let you smooch on my cheeks. You were really excited about the planes and the buses all around us.
You said "I wish I could go on a plane.... I wish I could go on a bus.... Can I go on a bus momma?"
Your momma said - "not right now, but we will soon ok?"
You said to me "My momma says, not right now."
I can't believe she can say no to you at all because you are so absolutely adorable when you say it and make everything you ask for seem totally reasonable. The Bauer-Greene force is strong with you my love.

Anyway, right then and there I decided that I would do anything you wanted because we're soulmates and if I don't spoil you like the awesome person that you are then who will? So here is what we did

* We blew bubbles and you laughed and laughed - especially when you blew them right into my face.



* I pushed you on the swing and pretended you were crashing into me everytime and you laughed so hard.
* We twirled around to the song on your new princess phone, I made up the words and you and I danced to it for like 150 million times. It was so completely great. (The song was to a waltz and went like this: "we're twirling around...around...around, we're twirling around, around, around... we're twirling around and arounnnnd and we fall down on our butts bu-bu-butts.) Then you would say "LET'S DO IT AGAIN AUNT JESSIE!" and I would say "OK!"
* We went swimming at grandpa david's house and you showed me how really excellent you are at jumping into the water
* We went to the movies and saw what you called "Toys thattalk" which was Toy Story 3 and you thought it was fun - but we did have to take a break in the middle to go get some m&ms and run down the corridor a few times. But really, who doesn't need to do that at the movies?
* we went to a clifford exhibit downtown where you were the cutest of all the kids and everyone knew to get out of your way because you are so awesome.




* We went to target and got groceries to make cupcakes and you helped put all of them in the cart and on the conveyor belt to check out. While your momma paid you and I twirled around with you in my arms and i gave you smooches on the neck. You thought this so so tickle-y so you tried to lick my face to make me stop. Whatever dude, try and gross me out by licking my face - IT WON'T WORK.
* We took naps together where you would snuggle up to me for a little bit, but then scooch back over to your mom and say 'i want huggies momma. I want you momma.' I just about died from adorable.
* We also had slumber parties together - you and your mom and I slept in the same giant bed and you would want to talk and talk and not go to sleep. The best was when you rolled over to me, put your arm around my neck - patted my cheek and said "hey chubby". Good one kid.
* We read soooo many books and you read them to me too - you have the best memory ever, you can almost recite pages by heart! If I tried to jump in you'd say "Don't say MY WORDS Jessie!"



* We took baths and I let you pour in the bubbles...you of course dumped in ALL of the bubbles but I was like..that's cool with me, so we just took a bath with sky high bubbles. There really are no worries when you're with your best friend.
* We ate so much sugar your mom said I would be responsible for your diabetes when you get older - but she just doesn't get that soulmates like us can eat endless sugar - it just fuels the coolness you know?

I had so much fun with you sweet girl, you really are such a source of joy in my life. I thought you might be sad to see me go but you were all "BYE!" and I was glad because if you would have cried I would have had to stay to make you happy. I would do ANYTHING for that bright smile and high pitched laugh.

If I'm ever having a bad day I can pull up a movie of you and feel better after watching it, I can video chat with you and it reminds me of what the really important things are in life. I am learning those important things are to be happy, to enjoy every moment and to have a great sense of wonder about this crazy world we live in and I'm learning it all from you. Of course. You're Zoe B., 2 and 1/2.

Dear Zoe B

Dear "I Do It MYself" Zoe B,

Holy crap you're almost 2 and 1/2! Just typing that makes me want to smash my head into my keyboard and sob. I can't believe you are growing up so fast. PLEASE. STOP. For the love of god, kid. Stop growing so fast.

Still, you are more and more marvelous every day, which I guess has to be possible because it is happening before my very eyes. Life is magic. Never forget that.

We are just about to start the process of weaning. My breastfeeding goal was 2 years and you're almost 2.5, so I think we win. Plus, I think you're ready because you are getting so independent it's absurd. You want to do EVERYTHING by yourself, including drive the car. You're nothing if not ambitious. I figure if you think you can drive a car on your own, you can figure out how to fall asleep without nursing first.

You're only nursing at sleep times now, so I think it'll be fairly easy (probably harder on me than you). I have promised you a "big girl party" and you're very excited about that idea. Cupcakes at a park? You're IN. You have made that very clear.




One of my favorite things that you're doing right now happens when you see something that surprises you (like a field of cows or an ice cream store). You wrinkle up your nose and open your mouth WIDE and then say, "THAT IS SO COOOOOL!!" You look at me like, "Are you seein' this shit??"

The other big favorite these days is when you say, "this pencil is just perfect," when you get a pencil out, or "my little blankie is just perfect." I'll tell you what's just perfect, my little bean, and it's not that pencil.

You love to play outside and especially at the playground, where you are an adept little monkey climber. You get there, walk up to the slide or climbing wall, remove your shoes and get to work. It's pretty impressive.




You are a little ray of light in everyone's life. Jack and Josie are always thrilled to see you when they come back from their mom's, your Dad's eyes brighten when he walks in the door from work. I recently read a blog post that was full of amazing insight. My favorite bit was this:

"We don't have children - adopt them or give birth to them or summon them by stork - as a favor to them. They come to us as a favor to us. They are a gift to us. They rescue us."

That is exactly how I feel. You have been a gift to me, a favor to me, you have rescued me. And I am so lucky. And forever grateful.

I love you, my sweet angel baby,
Mama

Dear jet-setting Zoe

Just LOOK at you, kid!

In February we went to Florida with Grandma Patty, and this month we went to see Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Russell in Arizona. You are quite the jet-setter.

We have been so busy that I've hardly had time to write on this website and my Dear Zoe letter is later than EVER (well, ridiculously late if you consider Grandma Patty wrote last month's).

You had a FABULOUS time in Arizona. You spent lots of time with your brother and sister and you were especially glued to your cousin Sophie. You'd wake up in the morning and say, "Is Soph awake?"








You had a great time in the pool engaging in all sorts of shenanigans with the big kids. You are definitely one of the big kids now, dude. Weird.

This month you have started the "but why?"only it's not annoying, it's totally cute. You kind of pucker up your lips and say, "but why?" like you will never be able to comprehend why it's not such a great idea to sit on the edge of your learning tower and try to turn on the faucet with your feet.

Your dad occasionally says "ma'am" to you and your sister...he'll say, "thank you, ma'am" or "of course, ma'am." Naturally you have picked this up, too. I told you to get in the car the other day and you said, "Well ok, MA'AM!"

You're sleeping in your big girl bed like a champ and you're down to nursing just at sleep times and you're rollin' with that better than I ever thought you would. You're so grown up, Zoe B!

I love you, my sweet bean. So much. More every single day.

Mama

An Email from Grandma Jackie

Dear Zoe,

What have you been playing today? Did it snow some more? It is a pretty day here in Fountain Hills. The birds are happy and chirping. Have you played your piano today? I found a picture of Josie sitting at the black piano that's in our playroom in Lawrence. She is probably a little bit older than you in the picture and she isn't wearing a shirt. She used to get pretty hot when she was little so she would remove her top!

In three days Grandpa Russ and I are getting on an airplane and flying back to Kansas. We will see if you can come visit us while we are home. We miss you and all of your family. See you soon.


Love,
Grandma Jackie

February 2010

Dear Zoe,

I am so proud of you. I got you some snowpants in the fall because playing in the snow is one of life's greatest pleasures as a child. I made the mistake of trying to get you to put them on when you were on the crabby side one day and you decided that snowpants suck. In some ways I guess they do, but without them you are LOST.

Michael Holloway sent me a cartoon about this very thing:



Anyway, you refused to wear the snowpants for quite some time. I would try and get you to come out with me and Josie and Jack but you would stand in the doorway and freak out because you wanted to come out but would not put your snowpants on.

Somehow, I convinced you to put them on (this probably involved bribery - but I'm not above the stuff) and voila! You LOVE them. You even wear them inside the house sometimes. I don't care so much about that - however I do care that we played outside in the snow the other day for HOURS. We built a snowperson (that is what we call them in this family - don't even try for 'snowman'), we made snow angels and did some sledding. You were in total snow heaven with your tiny little snowpants on.








In other news, you have picked up some hilarious phrases. You say things like, "Oh my god! That's weird." and "It's probly in my room." When I asked you when something will happen you usually say, "At 2:45."

We frequently have exchanges like this:

You: "Mama, you want my 'nana?" (banana)
Me: "No, thanks."
You: "You HAVE TO WANT IT."

That is so Bauer-Greene. We love to try and MAKE people want things they may or may not want. It is TOTALLY FUTILE, but it's sort of fun to try. So keep it up, it makes me laugh.

When your uncle Colin was little and nursing he used to say, "Nurse-side other side" when he wanted to switch sides. You used to say, "Lulla bit, please." (for 'other breast, please - I think) Then you started saying, "Other switch, please." Now you hilariously just say, "I want THAT ONE" or "That side please!" It's cute and you're always very polite.

You have gotten very into watching TV, which has its advantages and disadvantages, obviously. You watch Dora and Kai-Lan so you are learning words in Spanish and Chinese. I can help you with the Spanish, but the Chinese is lost on me. Grandpa in Chinese is "Ye Ye" - which sounds remarkably similar to Lil Jon saying "YEAH!" (if you don't know what I'm talking about, google it - you'll understand). I'm only going to be steering you in the wrong direction, my love, and for that I apologize.

You don't seem to understand that you can't just watch TV all the time or whenever you want. If I say no, you absolutely lose it and scream, "BUT I WANT MY KAI-LAN!"

It's adorable how you say "my Kai-Lan" - you do that for everyone else in your life, too. You say, "I'm going to play with my friend, Josie" or "I'm going to see my Layna" or "I want to bid-chat my Aunt Jess!" (I want to video chat). There just has never been anything more endearing. Well, maybe there has, since almost everything you do is endearing, but this has to be up there.

You are very independent, Zoe B. "I do it MYself!" is something I hear a lot of these days. Emphasis on the MY in myself. If you want me to do it for you, you'll say "You do it. You do it YOURself."


I love you, sweet pea. You are the BOMB DIGGITY. (I know, I'm lame. Sorry.)

Love,
Mama

Zoe B in 2010

Dear 2 years and 1 month Zoe,

Well, here we are in a new decade. I can't BELIEVE it's 2010. You, oddly, don't seem to care.

December was a crazy, over-the-top Santa Dora Nochebuena reindeer snowperson Christmas extravaganza. I don't know who the hell seriously uses the word extravaganza, but here it really does seem fitting.

You were so completely captured by the magic of Christmas that I almost started believing in Santa Claus again myself. Seeing how entranced you were with it all made me want to kick all of the bah-humbuggers in the balls.



We went to the mall with Liz and Gabby to sort of passively check out Santa Claus. You were totally into the idea that he was there, but of course did not want to sit in his lap. And you kept telling me for days later that you saw Santa and, "I not sit in his lap." Your Dad took you to Blockbuster to pick up some Christmas movies and he said that when you got back in the car you said, "I not see him!" I guess you figured Santa would be at Blockbuster with the Christmas movies. If only, kid. If only.

The best part of Christmas for me was you and how into it you were, but I was also totally over the moon about my family coming into town. Aunt Jess came and stayed an entire week (unheard of!), and Mom, Phil and Colin drove all the way here from Michigan. We all got along swimmingly and no one puked. We had SO.MUCH.FUN. It even snowed. A ton. It really was one of the best Christmases of my life. Cue violins.








Now it's January and it has been RIDICULOUSLY cold (a few days ago it was -2) so we've been home a lot. The big kids were off school for three whole weeks. Let's just say you watched a lot of Dora. But it's cozy and warm in our house and snowy and cold outside, sort of how winter is supposed to be.

You are like a little sponge, Bean. This morning your dad and I were wrestling and being the huge dorks that we are and he pulled my pants down. Of course, I shouted, "Don't!" And you said, "Don't pull-ah Mama's pants down!" I said, "Oh, it's ok, he's just messin' around." Your Dad started tickling you and smoochin' on you later in the day and you said, "Stop it! I don't want to mess around!"

This evening when were driving home from having dinner out with Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Russell we were all singing in the car trying to keep you awake. You were singing You Are My Sunshine and I melted into a puddle on the seat.

You are my shun-shine, my little shun-shine
You make me happy, and skies are great
You'll never know, dear, so much I love you
Please don't take my little shun-shine away

I think I was still ON the seat, just in complete liquid form.

I love you so much it HURTS sometimes, kid. You are my little shun-shine.

Love,
Mama