21 MONTHS

...and I really am starting to lose track of these months. I have really started saying, "she's almost 2" or "she'll be 2 in December" when people ask Zoe's age.

Dear Dzoy (this is how you say your name),

Last month when I wrote your letter we were in Michigan enjoying summer, which is something that most Kansas Citians can't fathom. This summer happened to be a pretty mild summer in KC, so they lucked out. Still, they were lacking a giant freshwater lake. You had such an amazing time there, I am so glad we were able to go for a whole month.



That said, you were still very glad to get back to your Dada, Jack and Jo-Jo, your Gampa (Grandpa David) and your buddies Gobby (Gabby) and Yiz (Liz). All your toys were like new toys again and SOMEHOW, even at the end of August, the weather decided to be nice to us and mellow the fuck out. I know I shouldn't be swearing in a letter to a toddler, but I really do picture you reading these when you're like 25. I know you'll probably read them before then, but it's not like you won't have heard these words before and you know what? You need to know who I am. As a person, not just as your mother. As a person, I swear. I just do.

You are absolutely, hands-down huge fans of the following things:

1.) The Gee-Gone. This is how you say playground and you.are.obsessed. You love to climb and slide and swing and I have yet to hear you say that you want to go home from the gee-gone. I ask everytime...sometimes even after 2 hours and you always say no, you don't want to go home. Almost everytime we drive or walk away you say, "Gee-Gone! Fun!"

2.) Shoes. You la-la-love shoes. Hello, Mini-Aunt Jess. You put shoes on FIRST THING OUT OF BED. And a lot of times you insist that I also put shoes on. So we hang out in our jammies and shoes for the first hour of the day.

3.) Diego, or "Liego". I don't know how it happened but you are absolutely nuts about Diego the animal rescuer. Elmo used to be your true love but you have forsaken him for a little Hispanic kid who swings on vines in the jungle rescuing animals with his sidekick Baby Jaguar. It seriously CRACKS.ME.UP. You sing, "go liego, go liego, go liego, go liego!"

You also love broccoli, bike-rides, lunchboxes, taking baths, video chatting, playing with your Grandma Jackie's accessories, your play kitchen, your rocking horse and reading books.

The other day when you were tired and ready for bed, I was changing the sheets and you were growing impatient. You started to sort of fake cry and fuss and I kept telling you that we'd go to bed and nurse and snuggle your blankie when I got the bed made. You just kept at it and I finally said, in a very exasperated tone, "Why are you getting so mad!?!" and you looked at me and said, "I laughin'," with a little smirk. "You're laughing, huh?" I said. And you said, "Ha! YEAH!!" Like - I got you, lame-o.
I think you've got my number, kid.



You are SO verbal. You are talking ALL THE TIME, more and more every day. In the middle of the night last night you sat up and said, "Mama, water please." When I gave you the water you said, "Tink yoo." Sometimes when you say "Tink yoo" you go ahead and say "Welcome" right after. I think to save me the trouble. You're so thoughtful that way.

You also have started calling me "mom". I thought I had at least a few years of "Mama", but nope. Sometimes when you're nursing you let go and look up and say, "Hi, Mom." or if you're doing something amazing (which is always), you'll say, "Watch! Mom!"

One of my favorite things you say is "Ready up!" You say this in the morning after we lay in bed a bit and nurse and you're just done with it all and are ready to get up and play. "READY UP!"

I know I'm forgetting all kinds of things - every month this happens. I think of a million things I need to write and then when the time comes I blank out. Looks like you might be putting your old mom in a home sooner than you think, my love. My memory is GOING. That is, unless your Dad's theories actually pan out and medical science finds a way to extend our lives past the 200 year mark. I have yet to be convinced.






In short, you are the light of my life, my sweet girl. Really and truly, I love everything about you. You're rascally and fun and sweet and cuddly and adventurous and daring and funny and light-hearted and just so happy all the time. I hope you are able to find joy and happiness all throughout your life the way that you do now. Unless that joy comes from becoming a right-wing christian conservative nutjob.
Just kidding. Sort of.

I love you, my sweet. Every night before I fall asleep I look forward to waking up to your smiling face.

Love,
Sappy Mama

These nachos are boring. More sugar please.

Elmo-loving, hat-wearing, hose-weilding Michigan baby

Grandma, you are magical

20 months

Dear Zoe,

In just 4 months you'll be 2 whole years old, which makes sense because you seem to have reached all of your 1 year old milestones. You walk, you run, you talk, you say fuck, what else is there to accomplish as a 1 year old?

You are really enjoying your Michigan summer. And your Michigan sand. Man, do you love that stuff. There is sand EVERYWHERE. In bed, in your hair, in your carseat, in your shoes, in your toys. Everywhere. If only I loved it as much as you do, we'd be sitting pretty.




You are pretty much in love with your Grandma's animals, you traitor. We are not dog people! We have already lost your Grandmother to Team Dog and now it seems you've crossed over as well. I have to admit, though, it is RIDICULOUSLY cute. And I do love how curious you are about them. I just can't stand it when the dog gets all excited and knocks you over. Your dad likes to call Sam a big hairy retarded kid. Hmm-mmm.




Right now your Aunt Jess and her boyfriend, Michael, are here from NYC as well as your Great Aunt Eileen and cousins Kieran, Michael and Brian. It's a zoo and you are having the time of your life. This means there is always someone available to find rocks with you at the beach, read you "The Wheels on the Bus" 5 times in a row, and so on. I've said this before but I'll say it again - I love seeing you with my family. It makes my heart swell to 4,000 times the size.




And, guess what? I love you. I love you so much that today when I was getting a massage I kept thinking, "This is awesome, but I'm excited to get back to my Zoe B." I had been gone exactly 46 minutes.


xoxoxoxoxoxo
Mama

Vampire Baby

Sunscreen + cherries = baby star of True Blood

Grand Traverse Bay

Field work

MICHIGAN!

Zoe B,

We are in Northern Michigan for a whole month! That's a long time, baby girl. We arrived Thursday after two days of driving (you watched more Elmo and Signing Time than any child should EVER watch) and man, you are eating this place up.

You are absolutely infatuated with the animals here - Sam the (freaking giant) dog and Tansy the cat. You were very unsure about them when we first arrived and would scream and shake when they got close to you, but now you're warming to them. You're happy with them when it's all on your terms, but if they come to close to you when you're not ready you scream a little and say, "HONEY!" or "NOOOOOO!". The "honey" is disgustingly cute. I think you say honey in times of distress because I call you honey when you're out of sorts/hurt/sad/etc. I told my mom this morning that I think Sam is rocking your world. A few times since we've been here you've startled awake and immediately cried out, "SAM!"...and one of the first things you do is look for that huge dog (pony?) when you wake up in the morning.

Here's a video of you "throwing" (might be a bit of stretch to call it throwing) the ball to Sam.



You can't get enough of your Grandma and she obviously loves you to pieces. She feeds you cookies for breakfast and takes you out for walks under the stars at 11.30 at night.

A word about nursing: you're too busy to eat much these days so I'm so glad you're still nursing. When you want to nurse you say, "NURSH-AH!" and when you want to switch sides you say, "bitch, mama." instead of "switch, mama." Ah, you and your filthy mouth. I actually had written a whole post about how you began to use a few swear words but then had to hide it due to your older sister Josie wanting to show someone your site. I'll dig it up again later so we'll have that story here as well.

I love you, Michigan Bean!

Mama

Holly Wood