5

Dear Zoe B,

It seems like the only time I have to write on this blog is when I leave the house. Little Junebug is a rascal! Not that you're not demanding yourself but it's in your genes; you guys can't help it.

In just a few days you'll be FIVE YEARS OLD. I'm pretty sure there's some kind of rip in the fabric of time because you just can't be that old. The end.

I realized I didn't write anything about out trip to France Cancisco here, so I need to go back and get caught up there.

Jess and Michael moved to SF from Brooklyn in June and we were all super excited to be visiting her somewhere other than NYC. Don't get me wrong, New York is great. Just not so great to visit all the time with kids and you know, the fact that everything costs money there (even breathing air and peeing)  and she never had enough room for us to stay with her and everyone's mean and they act like you're in their way and out to ruin their lives. Anyway. She moved to SF and got an apartment with enough room for us to stay, and the people in France Cancisco are so laid back and hippie-ish. The guy at the hot dog cart (where they also had veggie dogs) looked right at me when it was my turn and said, "What'sss uuuupppp?" Score one for SF.

Just you, June and I went because your dad couldn't get the time off work. You guys are awesome travelers, I have to hand it to you. I was a little nervous about going it alone with two small kids but you handled it all beautifully. Yesssss.

It was a really great trip. We just did a lot of parks and hanging out and checking things out. We did some touristy things you wanted to do (trolley, sea lions, aquarium, etc) but we mostly just hung out.

The day we got there was actually the Dia de los Muertos. Jess lives in the mission district which, as we learned that day, hosts quite a crazy Dia de los Muertos street party. It was great because though you hate people in costumes when they're right in your face you are fascinated by them when you can watch from afar. We had an amazing view from Jessie's third floor apartment windows and you were just enthralled. I was also enthralled, until they wouldn't stop with the damn drumming at 1am. (Crotchety old lady!)

You were super into your Aunt Jess and when I asked you what your favorite part of the trip was you said, "Seeing Aunt Jess!". Just tears me up how cute you guys are.

We had your 5 year old birthday party the other night at our house. In attendance were: Jack, Josie, Junie, me, Daddy, Grandpa David, Grandma Jackie, Grandpa Russell, Aunt Jill, Uncle Mark, Sophie, Dominic, Michael Holloway, Liz, Ryan, Gabby, Cora, Karen, Helen, Stephanie, Alex and Alayna.

It was super fun. There was pizza and beer for the grownups and tons of cake. I MADE a piñata (probably won't ever do this again so let's get it on the record) and your dad made this punch-out party game. It was awesome.

I'm so happy to be your mom. Sometimes before you go to bed you ask to hold my hand. You say, "I want to hold your hand because you're my momma and I love you." It's so cute!

Anyway, I'm running out of time. I'm at the bookstore and a woman behind me is talking LOUD on her cell phone about the great deals she got at Wet Seal. MUST LEAVE.

I love you to bits.

xoxox
Momma

Election 2012

Dear Zoe,

THIS HAPPENED! YESSSSSSS.

I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I knew I was nervous but until today I didn't realize how nervous I actually was.

I wrote about Barack Obama in 2008 when you were just a baby - you weren't even 1 when he was elected. Now you're an awesomely feisty almost 5 year old and he's been re-elected. I'm so happy that for 8 years of your childhood he will be the President of the United States.

Sure, we're not in the best place as a country but we're in a better place than we were 4 years ago when he took office. We're making progress. Most of all, I feel so relieved that we have someone in office who believes that gay people should have the same rights as the rest of us. Someone who believes that women can make their own reproductive health decisions. Someone who believes that we all should have access to affordable health care.

And not only was Obama re-elected, we have 18 women in the Senate. We have our first openly gay woman Senator. Elizabeth Warren was elected! Claire McCaskill beat Todd Akin! It was a great night for us, Bean. Particularly for you young people. I feel good about the road we're on for your generation.

PHEEEEWWWW.

Oh and....

Zoe, 

Lately you've been asking to read the Where Did I Come From? book about how babies are made. It is KILLING me - you're so funny. 

Of course I probably wouldn't have gotten this book for you yet but you're the third kid in this house so you've inherited it early from your sibs. Fine with me - easier to talk to you about early so it doesn't become hard to talk about. 

The last time we read it you said you were just going to call breasts nipples and not breasts. "Mom - penises look like hot dogs!" During the birth part you seemed absolutely horrified that babies come out of a woman's vagina. Also - the umbilical cord grossed you out. 

Tonight you hid under the covers for the sex part and were absolutely out of your mind about the idea of eggs being inside a woman's body. Of course you were thinking chicken eggs. 

You were asking questions and wanting to see videos and we were talking for quite a while and then you refused to settle down to sleep. I said, "Zoe! You need to sleep - stop finding reasons to stay up." and you said, "MOM! Listen. I just didn't know where I came from."

I love you, Bean. 

Dear Emma or Tess or Hope or Kate

Dear Zoe,

Mostly you ask to be called Emma these days. And you ask to call me Quia. Quia, huh? Where on earth did you get that? 

We had kind of a whirlwind September. The 5 day a week peer model preschool didn't turn out to be the kind of preschool experience I was going for for you, so I pulled you out and put you back in Pioneer, which is the very sweet preschool you went to last year. You're in there with your buddy, Abby, and you're very pleased. 

We also went up to Michigan to help your Grandma Patty because she was in a Vespa crash. She fractured her pelvis in three places and broke a rib. I think our visit was mostly a very nice distraction for her but having two rascally kids in the house made things a little chaotic especially when I threw my back out. But - we got to be in Michigan in the fall, which is rare, and that was awesome. 

There are all these things that you say that make me think, "Chelsea! Get it on the blog!" Alas, I'm a procrastinator (I actually won Class Procrastinator in high school - did you know that about me?) and I forget. I remember a few things, though, so here we go:

In preschool you say a prayer before your snack and you were telling me about it one day when we were on the way to the liquor store (you love to go to the liquor store because they give you lollipops, and here in KS you can't buy wine at the grocery store so you have to make special trips - lame). You were trying to get me to say the prayer - you said, "Say this mom - 'God made the sun, God made the trees, God made the mountains, God made me'" and so I did, and then you said, "GOOD! NOW LET'S GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE!"

One of the songs I sometimes sing you and Junie at bedtime is You Can Close Your Eyes by James Taylor. The chorus goes, "So close your eyes, you can close your eyes it's all right. I don't know no love songs and I can't sing the blues anymore." It's a sweet song. The absolute best part of this, though, is that when you request this song you call it "the blues". So when you can't sleep you say, "Mom, will you sing the blues?" Best ever.

You are really excited about turning 5 in a about...6 weeks now. I really can't believe you're going to be 5 so let's just not talk about that right now.

You are growing and changing so much these days. You suddenly became very concerned about what shoes and coats you wear. We spent quite a bit of time in several shoe stores looking for the perfect shoes (you suddenly outgrew all of your shoes). At Target when you were trying on coats, you didn't like the hood on one of them so you said, 'Hmm...this one's not lookin'." And I thought it was funny so I laughed a little and this other woman nearby also laughed. The old you would have gotten upset but you would have hidden behind my leg and waited until the woman was gone to tell me you didn't like that she laughed. But the new-almost-5 you looked right at her, put your hands on your hips and said, "DON'T LAUGH AT ME!" I was pretty impressed. Of course it was slightly rude, but I was just so proud of you for being assertive. Atta girl.

In a few weeks we are going to visit your Aunt Jess in France Cancisco, as you say. I'm super excited to see what you make of it. You're so much fun to travel with - you're always up for anything and just roll with it all so well. I bet you'll be dancing on roller skates wearing a rainbow wig and hot pants in Golden Gate Park by the second day. 

Ooh - and Halloween is coming up. You and Gabby are going to be bees. Bee Princesses to be totally accurate. I can't wait.

I love you, sweet girl. I am so lucky to be your mom. 

Love, 

Mama 

Zoe B Big Kid

Dear Zoe B,

Where do I even start?

Well, this happened:

I know. You took off for preschool on the SCHOOL BUS. I was so excited for you and super proud of the way you just bounded up those steps and didn't look back. What a big girl. Sheesh. 

This year you are doing 5 afternoons a week at preschool. You go to Heartland Early Childhood Center and you're a peer model in a disabilities classroom. It's a great program and so far you seem to be really liking it. And you get to ride the bus! SCORE! Especially since you won't be able to ride the bus to elementary school since it's just right up the street.   

                           

We spent 5 weeks up in Michigan this year and you loved every minute of it. You woke up crying in the middle of the night on our last night because you didn't want to leave (but a few days after being back home you said, "I really am glad I'm home!"). You and Grandma love each other to bits and you're truly a beach kid if ever there was one. 

You made some crazy progress in the swimming department, which I did not expect. You've always been very cautious around water and don't like your face to get wet, etc. But this year it took you about a week and you just put on your life jacket and went for it. Bobbing up and down in the waves with your cousin, Zinnia, and then Gabby when she came. You even started working on putting your head under the water when you weren't wearing your life jacket. That's HUGE, dude! You worked hard and really took some risks and I'm so proud of you. 

I am so happy we get to spend this time up in Michigan for a million reasons but a big one is that it really gives you and your Grandma Patty some good time together. You just love to be together and I know you're making amazing summer memories living at her house for such a big chunk of time. It kills her that she doesn't get to see you all the time, so having you for so long in the summer is a big deal for her. 

This year Gabby, Cora, Liz and Ryan came to Michigan for a week. We had an amazing time and I think you really got a kick out of showing Gabby where we go each summer. 

I am so proud of what a big girl you're becoming. I can't believe that in just a few months you'll be 5. FIVE!?! That is a KID. Not a little kid. A kid. And just a few minutes ago you were a baby. Sometimes I look at your face and I can still see the baby you in there. It makes me melt, my sweet girl. You really will always be my baby. 

As I always tell you - I love you all the time. Every minute of every day.

Love, 

Mama

4.5 year old Zoe!

Dear Zoe,

Right now I'm sitting in a coffee shop and you and Junie are home with Leah, your high school babysitter. I came to this coffee shop for the sole purpose of writing to you guys because life at home is so busy I just don't have time or it takes me days and days.

This morning I spent some time with you trying to teach you to tie. You're aaaalmost there but you don't want an ounce of my help and in the end you said, "Here, I'll just show you how *I* do it." And then you tied the ribbon into the biggest, craziest knot you could. I guess that's one way to do it.


 In just about a week you turn exactly 4 1/2. I think you are coming out of your year of total wildness. I swear from 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 you were kind of a whirling dervish of emotion and intensity. Of course we did add a person to our family and you sort of come from people who are full of emotion and intensity so it's no big surprise. But now you rarely have meltdowns and you're very good at articulating your emotions and figuring out what to do with them - what works, what doesn't. Most of the time. At times you'll still say stuff like, "I can ride my scooter with no shoes if I want" and then when you bite the dust you'll say, "Why did you let me do that?" I bet you'll always do that, though, because I love to blame crap on other people. It's easier. 

This Friday is June 1 and I guess now it's officially summer. You have a totally kickass summer planned if I do say so myself. You have Ernie Miller Nature Camp with Gabby, Preschool summer session and 4 weeks in Michigan. Whhheeeee! 

Your Aunt Jess was just in town last week and she's moving to San Francisco in a few weeks. Yay - a new place to visit! You've been to New York enough, it's time to hit the west coast. Although when I told you she was moving you sighed and said, "I just like her in New York."


You're teaching Junie to do tricks. You say, "Junie, say AHHHHH!" and she opens her mouth and says "aaaaahhhh". Then you say, "June! Clap!" and she claps! You seem totally amazed. This morning you held you finger up in the air and tapped your foot and said, "She's learnin'! Yep. She's learnin'."

I'm really looking forward to this summer with you. I love you so much, sweet of the sweets.

Love,
Mama

Zoe B Big Sister

Dear Zoe B Big Sister,

A year ago today your baby sister was born. And 13 years ago your big sister was born! How cool that both of your sisters were born on the same day.

You and both of your sisters have a great relationship and I have to say I'm very impressed with you, kiddo. You are a great big sister to Junie - every morning you guys give each other hugs and I almost melt onto the floor. You and Josie adore each other and you miss her to pieces when she's at her mom's. How lucky you are that you get to be a big sister and a little sister at the same time. 

You have been saying the funniest things lately. I know I don't remember them all but here are a few good ones: 

Me: "Ugh, that cough!" 

You: "I know. I've been coughing for 20 years." 

Me: "What bathing suit are you going to wear for beach day?"

You: "Not my zucchini. Just my reg-li-er one."

Me: "How was beach day? Did everyone wear a bathing suit?" 

You: "Yes. And Carly even wore a BIKINA!"

As you can see, the word bikini is a bit tricky for you. I think I'll go ahead and take credit for the fact that you know the word zucchini and not bikini. Surely this nominates me for some kind of award. 

You're very into accessories right now. Headbands, necklaces, watches. You got a little watch the other day and you pretend it's a walkie-talkie watch and you talk into it. It's awesome. 

You and Grandpa went out and you picked out a birdfeeder the other day. You were SO excited and every morning you run to the door and check for birds. It's freakin' adorable. 

And in other news, you learned how to ride a mother-lovin' bike! A two-wheeler without training wheels! I think the balance bike really paid off. I told you when you could glide down the hill on your balance bike that we would get you a Barbie bike. One day you convinced me you could do it, so we bought the Barbie bike and you just got on and rode away! Hot diggity!

Here's a little video we did to showcase your new skills.

I love you so much, kiddo.  More every single day. I still stare at you in your sleep and get all gushy. I wonder if I'll still do that when you're a big teenager. Probably. 

xoxo,

M

Dear Zoe in 2012

Hey Awesomest Kid Around!

Get a little cuter, how about?

I wish I had time to update this blog more. Your little sister at 10 months old is giving me a run for my money. She crawls around and is getting into everything. You have gotten SO good with her, though. You have almost totally mastered the "giving her something new before taking something away" trick. You can make her laugh instantly. Sometimes you hug her a little tight and have some kind of weird desire to put your feet on her head but otherwise you are a dream big sister. Thanks, kid. Junie thanks you, too. 

The 4 year old you is really cool. You're fun and funny and strong-willed and funny and funny and funny. The other day I put this new "dry shampoo" in my hair (it's like powder that is supposed to suck up the oil in dirty hair) and I leaned down to help you with your shoes and you said, "Mom! What did you do!? Your hair smells like GASOLINE!"

When you set the table you do the funniest thing with the napkins. See picture below.  

That thing with the napkins is all kinds of awesome.

I love all of the things you're into these days. You are very into headbands and you got a few new ones the other day that you adore. So much in fact that when you get up in the middle of the night and come get in bed with me and June, you bring your headband and put it on my bedside table. That way, you can put it on the SECOND you get up.

You also love your Barbies and you're always changing their names. Sophie, Minerv (yes, no A), Cassandra, Bella, Dionna, Jillian, McKenna. Sometimes you change Junie's name, too. Gloria was her name yesterday. She doesn't really look like a Gloria to me, but you were convinced.

We got a Charlie Brown Christmas app on the iPad that you play with a lot. I didn't really think you'd be so into it but you think all of the things they say in that movie are hilarious. This morning I walked into your room where you and Junie were playing and Junie was messing with your dollhouse and you said to your Barbies, "See? I told you she'd goof it up."

I love you so much. We've been butting heads a little bit lately because let's face it - we're both strong personalities. There will probably be a lot of that to come. But I always love you. Always always always. You will always be my sweet little baby. Even when you're big and telling me that if I don't come upstairs and zip your sleeping bag RIGHT NOW that you will get REALLY MAD and even when I'm saying, "one more whine out of you and there will be trouble!". I love you always, no matter what.

Love,
Mama