Zoe B

4 birthday!

2011-12-12T21:34:00.000-08:00

Dear 4 Year Old Zoe,

Wow, I just typed that. Weird.

How are you FOUR? HOW, I ask?

It feels like just a few months ago I had a little tiny cry that I weaned you at a little over 2. And only a few months ago that you learned to walk. Holding up your arms like a little ape.

Time flies, kid. You don't think so now but holy shit time flies. You'll see.

The 4 year old you is delightful. You're not as defiant as you were at 3.5 and you're sassier than you were at 2. You're spunky and sweet and hilarious and so much fun to be around. The other day you told your dad he smelled like armpits and then smiled at him with your sweet little cherubic face - as if you'd just told him he'd won father of the year. Atta girl.

You have learned to write your name (still have a little bit of trouble with the Z - sometimes it looks like ...well, not exactly a Z) and you can write out words if I help with spelling. It's amazing. One day you could suddenly do it. Funny how that works.

Your 4 birthday, as you called it, was SO much fun. You were so into it this year and we celebrated the crap out of it. Three big, huge celebrations for your birthday. We decided to forego the "kids party" after last year's Chuck E. Cheese debacle and opted to take you and Gabby to the mall to do lunch, Build A Bear, carousel rides and ice cream. You guys had a BLAST.

For your family party, we had Grandpa David, Grandpa Russell, Grandma Jackie, Aunt Jill, Uncle Mark, Sophie, Dominic, Jack and Josie and we did a Hello Kitty pinata, pizza and pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is your new favorite dessert and you requested it in lieu of cake.

Since your birthday was on a Tuesday, both of the OTHER celebrations took place on the weekend so we celebrated AGAIN on your real birthday. You took cinnamon bread to school (your choice) and we had lasagne for dinner and cupcakes for dessert. You only ate the frosting.

We are having so much fun. We're all going bananas with excitement over Christmas (everyone's coming here this year). You have a preschool Christmas program on Thursday in which you'll be singing Christmas songs - only you can never seem to remember which ones.

I love you so much, my peanut. These last four years have been the best of my life. I am so lucky.

Love,

Mama

A letter from Grandma Patty

2011-11-21T06:34:00.001-08:00

November 19, 2011

Dear Zoe,

I am writing to you on what would have been my Momma’s 93rd birthday. I know she would have loved YOU! And you would have loved her, she was great fun – ask your Momma.

My recent visit with you was SO much fun. I just can’t wait to come back at Christmas. I especially miss our night time snuggles in bed together. I loved watching you and your Momma playing soccer; it was so funny when she snuck up behind you and pulled your pants down and you laughed so hard. I don’t know
if you realize how much fun your family has together. Lots of families don’t laugh nearly as much as you guys do. Or put up silly and loving things on the blackboardwall.

It was a special treat for me to be a guest at your preschool last week. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I was honored to sit in Mrs. Hawkins chair and talk with your class about your Michigan summer and show them your Michigan book.

Breaking that piñata with you was so much fun and my hand didn’t hurt a bit after taking a hit. The ice was a charm.

When you read this, I hope you will have gotten your birthday present from me. I can’t wait to see you with it! Please send me a picture or show me on video chat. OK?

I talked to Jessie today and told her what a great big sister you are to Junie and how much you make her laugh. I told her about us seeing the deer and squirrels at the Nature Center, as well as the snakes and owls and the red-tailed hawk. She will likely want to go to the Nature Center when she comes at Christmas too. Won’t that be fun?

I want to plan to make gingerbread people with you, as well as Christmas cookies when I come back in December. I’ll bring all the decorations. (Are you sure you can’t talk your Mom into letting me bring Sammy?)

You are Grandma’s special treat. Every time I see you,Angel, you have grown and learned new things, but you are always that same sweet, loving, fun girl and I feel blessed to be your grandmother.

I love you Zoe-B.

Grandma Patty

Zoe B, 1 month shy of 4 years old

2011-11-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Zoe,

I am SO behind on this blog and DAILY you do and say things that remind me that I need to get all of this down but life is crazy with 4 kids in the house. Ya hear? CRAZY UP IN THIS BITCH.

As an almost 4 year old with a birthday one month away, you are busy planning it all out. You insist that all birthday celebrations need a piñata with candy AND toys that fall out. I'm with you, kiddo. The more Mexican celebratory events, the better. You were going to have a Totoro/Hello Kitty party but after last year's total disaster of a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, I pitched you the idea of taking Gabby to the mall and doin' it up just the two of you. Luckily, you'll all over it. Score one for Mama.

You're asking for a Sit n' Spin and a Barbie Jeep. A huge ride-on Barbie Jeep. Way to aim big! I can't believe I'm actually typing this way but I'm going to try and dissuade you from the Jeep and point you toward the .... wait for it... ESCALADE. Not only because - duh - the more bling the better but because it actually looks bigger and not like a toddler toy. But we'll see.

You're also very excited about Christmas coming up. So much so that you walk around singing, "Decorate the halls with jolly" which is probably the best Christmas song ever. This Christmas is going to RULE because all of our family is coming to our house. It's going to be a lot of decorating the halls with jolly.

You're trying out a bunch of new words these days. Phrases like, "I am going to address that this bike is bigger than that bike." or "Look at my compression ball." or "Daddy, let's play Ardamendo library." Ardamendo? Huh?

Some of your pronunciations are also awesome - instead of "also" you say "oh so", so it sounds like you're adding emphasis instead of meaning in addition to. "I oh so oh so want you get orange juice at the store." I love it. You also say "last day" instead of yesterday or a few days ago. "Gabby and I did that last day." One of your new favorite things to say is "aye yai yai" (how the eff do you spell that?). Junie will spit up and you'll say, "aye yai yai, Junie, stop puking!"

You are LOVING preschool and you do a lot of pretend playing that you're at school. You even asked me if there is an iPad app where you go into the Elephant room and find your hook and have a job like counter or weather girl, etc. Your best friends at school are Carly and Abby - but ESPECIALLY Carly. You adore her.

There's a lot more to say but right now you're wanting me to play with you on the iPad and Junie is screeching like a pterodactyl because she's sleepy.

I'm having so much fun being your mom, kiddo. I love everything about you. I love that you're strong and bossy and funny and weird and awesome and sweet and sharp as a tack. I love that when you're mad sometimes you say, "I need some Zoe time" and you go into your room and slam the door. I love it even more that sometimes when you're having a hard time you say, "I think I need some Mama-Zoe time."

I love you, baby. My big almost 4 year old baby.
xxMama

Already?

2011-09-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Zoe is starting her "lunch bunch" at preschool. On Thursdays she gets there a few hours earlier for more play and then gets to have lunch before her regular class starts.

Tonight we were packing her lunch and I snuck in a little drawing of a heart around her name on a post-it note.

She said, "What's that?"
I replied, "A little heart so you can remember how much I love you."
She nodded her head and walked away. I started to talking to Travis about something.

A few minutes later she walked up to me with the post-it note in her hand and said, in a very teenager-ish voice, "It was really nice of you to draw that for me, but...I don't want it." Dropped the note on the floor and walked away.

WHAT!? I can't even stick a note in your lunch when you're THREE?!

Zoe B, preschooler

2011-09-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Kiddo! Time is flying by - I'm sorry that I'm such a slackerific blogger these days but we have been BUSY. First, you started freakin' preschool, dude! Look at you!

I was more than a little nervous about the separation because it's an entirely new experience for you to be away from a family member or close friend but YOU ROCKED IT! You just went right in and did your thing and didn't even look back.

Your teacher's name is Mrs. Hawkins and she is VERY nice. She's got that magic preschool teacher thing going on - she got you to open up right away. Your classroom is called the Elephant Room and right now you have 3 other girls and two boys in your class. Today is actually your first show and tell, I can't wait to hear how it goes.
(Speaking of the word ACTUALLY, it is your new favorite word - you say it ALL THE TIME. "It's not dessert night, ACTUALLY.")

I'm SO proud of you. Also a little teary because I can't believe my little bean is already in preschool, but mostly I'm excited for you. Life is full of new adventures and you're diving in. That's the best way, pumpkin.

We spent three awesome weeks in Michigan and you loved it, of course. You cried when we left and it just cemented for me that we need to spend at least a month there in the summer. It's part of who I am and it's becoming part of you are, too. Hooray for Michigan!

We also just got back from a whirlwind trip to NYC for Aunt Jess's wedding. You are such a good traveler. You hang right in there with early morning flights and subways and all of it.

You were the flower girl in the wedding but you hated it. I don't blame you. Not only did you not know what to expect, it was a lot of the stuff you hate; people making a big deal out of you. You and Grandma P walked in and everyone starting hootin' and holleriin' and you burst into tears. But later Aunt Jess said it took some of the pressure off, so there was a little added bonus to your little meltdown. You had a great time after the ceremony, though. Especially with the photo booth - check this photo out.

You're digging being in charge of the camera, Junie is drinking beer, and I look exhausted. So perfect!
I love you, beanie. You're such an awesome little human.

xxMama

Zoe B : The Holy Terror Edition

2011-07-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe,

Today Grandma Patty posted this on Facebook,"You're nobody until someone calls you bossy." -Tina Fey

I think that pretty much says it all. Right? What I'm saying is YOU'RE SOMEBODY, KID!

I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about you growing up to be a pushover, which is good. I'm glad you are following along in your mother's, aunt's and grandmother's footsteps. Bossy broads unite!

I have to say, though, things are a little difficult these days because you're constantly bossing me around, yelling orders at me and scowling up a storm. I know it's hard when people don't do what you want them to do. I struggle with this STILL. I KNOW BEST - JUST DO WHAT I WANT! Yet, it doesn't work that way.

I think right now you're sort of stuck in a funny place of wanting to still be a little one and at the same time wanting to be a big kid. You still want a ton of attention and are now wanting us to do things for you that you used to beg to do yourself. On the other hand, when you are with your friends or Jack and Josie or your cousins, you are so eager to be JUST LIKE THEM. Sleep upstairs, watch big kid shows, play by yourself outside. Plus, you're so smart I think sometimes we forget you're just a little wee girl.

Preschool starts in a few months and I'm very excited for you. I think you're a little nervous about separating from me, but I think once you get comfortable you're going to absolutely LOVE IT. You've been taking a tumbling class with Gabby and you adore your teacher and are totally comfortable there after just a few classes. So I have high hopes. It will be good for all of us.

You are such a good big sister, Zoe B. You LOVE your little Junie so much. Sometimes when she cries you say, "Oh! I think she needs me!" I bet in a few years you guys are totally going to team up and take us on. I know I'm in trouble. BIG trouble.

Pretty soon things are going to kick into high gear - we're going to New York for Jessie's "brivate shower" (as you say), then two weeks later we're off to Michigan for three weeks and shortly after we return we're back to New York for Jessie's wedding. ROCK AND ROLL!

You are so much fun, Zoe B. You say the funniest things. The other day when your dad was in the shower you opened the bathroom door and said, "FART!" and closed it and ran off. You are clearly our daughter. As if there was any question.

I love you so much, kiddo. I look at you sometimes and wonder how on earth you've turned into such a brilliant, hilarious, determined, and loving person in such a short time. You've only been on the earth 3.5 years and you are such a FORCE! I love it. And I love you. So much I could cry.

Love Love Love,

Mama

my sister's blog

2011-07-07T04:10:00.000-07:00

Junie has a blog, too!

Check it: Junie Beth.

Zoe Says....

2011-06-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

"I love shorts. They have pockets and you know me - I just love pockets!"

Z: "Can I have an ice cream sandwich?" T: "You haven't had dinner." Z: "But it's my life's dream to have an ice cream sandwich!"

"I am the team champion. Now get me some orange juice."

Zoe B, 3 and 1/2

2011-05-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe,

Remember when you were two and a half and you used to say, "I'm Zoe B, 2 and 1/2"? Like it was your credentials? Well, now that you're 3 and 1/2, you don't do that any more because you're practically an adult. More teenager-ish than your 12 year old sister these days, I swear.

The other day I asked Josie to set the table and you flipped out because YOU wanted to set the table (I didn't ask you because the last time you set the table you burned out after you did the napkins and a table with only napkins and plates isn't exactly SET if you know what I mean). Josie, being the agreeable person that she is, handed the plates over to you so you could set the table. But the whole thing was so offensive to you at that point that you no longer wanted to set the table and while I was in the pantry getting out dinner ingredients you opened the pantry door, threw the paper plates at me and walked away.

See? What are you, 14?

You are SO MUCH FUN, though. I know I'm biased, but there has never been a funnier kid than you. No kid has ever been so much fun. Almost everything is fun with you - you just have such a knack for making everything awesome. I'm not surprised or anything because you've been like that since you were born.

One of my favorite things that you do right now is pretend to talk on the phone. You say things like, "Well, Aunt Jessie, I don't know when you're coming here but when you do I'm going to play princess phone with you and then we can twirl and everything BUT (tons of emphasis on the "but") you live in New York and you're there and how's Sophie?" You kill me.

You have also decided that the word "dude" has some sort of negative connotation - probably because of me. I say things like, "Dude! Slow down!" to other drivers and what not. So when Josie and Jack bum you out in some way, you call them dudes. The other day you said to me, "Josie and Jack are dudes because they ate all the popcorn."

Here's a question: what is with all this clothes-changing? You probably change your clothes 7 times a day and that is NOT an exaggeration. I guess it's probably because now all of your clothes are accessible to you and you can dress yourself completely. I'd say about 1/4 of the wardrobe changes are due to potty accidents and the rest are purely for practical or fashion purposes. It's funny. And kind of annoying because with all of this clothes changing and Junie's constant spitting up, we are drowning in laundry. But whatever - you'll only be 3 and a half and maniacally changing your clothes for a short time. I can live with it. I know someday I'll be wishing you were still little and changing your clothes 40 times a day instead of all grown up and too cool for me.

Speaking of Junie, you are such a good big sister. You love her so much - you love to make her smile and I can tell you're very excited for her to grow up a little so you guys can play. When we wake up in the morning, you're usually much more excited to see her than you are to see me. You have had a few episodes of blaming something on having a baby sister, but that's mostly stopped and I know you didn't really feel that way. Well, maybe you did for five minutes. But I know you know Junie is a little sweetie pie and that you'll be BFFs soon.

Guess what? I love you TO PIECES. You're magic, Zoe B. You really are.

Love,
Mama

Move Your Body

2011-05-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

guess who's a big sister?

2011-04-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

Zoe B is a big sister!

Juniper Elizabeth was born on March 28, 2011 (also big sister Josie's birthday!) at 2:13am. She weighed 9lbs 13oz. and was 21 inches long.

Of course, Zoe B is ROCKING this big sister thing. She loves Junie and can't wait to teach her all of her tricks.

Here she is with her BFF Gabby - they're both big sisters now!

Dear Zoe

2011-03-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe,

God I SUCK at this lately. When you were a baby it was so much easier...we weren't so busy and I had tons of time to sit and blog about how you were growing. Now, we are on the move all! the! time! it seems and the longer I go the more I know I should write and then it all becomes very overwhelming.

You are a very big girl. Which makes me want to curl up in the corner and sob sometimes because I can't believe how fast you've grown, but in other ways it's so much fun to be able to do all kinds of new things with you. It's so fun to pick you up from Grandpa David's and say, "Let's go get root beer floats!" and have you say, "Great idea!" It's awesome, for instance, that you are big enough to grab my car keys, open your automatic car door and go get your Barbie phone out of the car by yourself. By yourself! It's awesome that you say funny things like, "Let's go, turds!" when it's time to get in the car.

You are very independent most of the time - when you want to be. When you don't want to be, well...watch out. You have been known to get right in my face and say things like "I want milk RIGHT NOW and I'M NOT WAITING." Hmmm.....

Every time I say something about you being bossy, your dad says, "Weird, I wonder where she gets it?" The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, kid, and you come from quite a line-up of bossy broads. Your Aunt Mary Ann told me recently that someone told her she seemed like the kind of person that likes to try and control everything - to which she responded, "And there's something wrong with that?" I say go with it.

You are overall SUCH a happy kid. I LOVE how happy you are - and it's contagious. In February we spent a week in Detroit with Grandma Patty, Aunt Jess and our Bauer family because our Aunt Barb passed away. It was a really sad time for all us but having you there made it all so much easier. You were like a little ray of light.

I have to mention this love/hate relationship you have with people in costumes - like mascots. You hated Chuck E. Cheese but you love the dog mascot outside of PetCo waving at cars. You really hated the timberwolf and dog mascots at Jack's school carnival, but you somehow found this video on the internet of a person dressed as bigfoot parading through New York City that you love to watch. You talk about them all the time - how they are just people under there and how they are NOT coming to our house. I guess I get it, when I went to Alaska I was terrified of grizzly bears but I couldn't put down this book called Alaskan Bear Tales.

Right now we are waiting for a new baby to join our family. You are very excited. You keep saying, "when our baby comes I'm going to teach her _______". It's very cute. I really think you'll do great and you'll be a much better big sister than I was in the beginning. You have been very sweet to me as I've gotten bigger and bigger and less able to do fun stuff. I think the big sister role will come quite naturally to you.

We are also gearing up for Aunt Jessie's wedding in September. You want to be the flower girl and so you're planning what dress you'll wear. Every week or so it changes and you pick out some dress you already have and declare that to be your dress. I imagine we'll have a lot of fun picking out the real dress you'll wear.

You are also VERY excited to start preschool in the fall. You talk about how you'll learn all kinds of things in preschool and how you'll have one teacher just like Jack has one teacher. I can't believe you're old enough now to start preschool - arrgghhh! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

I love you so much, my sweet bean. Sometimes I just look at you and marvel at how much joy you've brought to all of us. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I know you'll read this someday and roll your eyes because your mom's a huge sappy loser, but it's all true so you can just ... stick that up your butt and blow it out.

Smooches,
Mama

p.s.
Here's a photo of you and your dad bowling. Check out your stance - sass!

A Letter from Grandma Patty

2011-01-09T08:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Zoe,

It’s been 8 days since I kissed your little face goodbye at the airport. We were both sad because we knew that we would miss each other. I really wish we lived closer together too. Someday I hope to have so much time off that I can go to your house whenever I want to and stay as long as I want; and of course you’ll keep coming to see me in the summer for a month or more.

We are having a big snowstorm here; it has snowed all week long, a little bit each day, but now it’s going to be really deep. Tonight, Sam loved it outside and wouldn’t come in. He was covered in snow and looked like a white dog when I finally got him inside the house.

Are you enjoying all your new toys? You got some great gifts. I am enjoying my gifts also, but my best present was being with you and your wonderful family. I loved being on the carousel with you; wasn’t that a beautiful panda that you rode?! I really like to go to the playground with you; it’s nice to have that so close to your house. Are you still playing the Kai Lan Super Game Day on the Wii? You are really good at that. I bet Josie and Jack play with you too.

Is Momma’s belly getting even bigger? It won’t be that long before you’ll have a new baby at your house and you will be the big sister. I’m sure that will be exciting. I will come and play with you and help your Momma when she needs me. So, look for me in March or maybe sooner.

I’d give anything to send this letter through the mail slot on your pink house.

All my love, and kisses and hugs.

Gramma Patty

1/7/11

(68 years ago tomorrow my mom and dad were married)

the awesome things you say

2011-01-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

Last night when your dad and I were headed out for dinner, Grandpa said, "Where are you guys going?" and you said, "...out to shake your butts?"

You had your friend Helen over and you guys were finished playing play-doh. I said, "You need to clean it up now." You put your hands on your hips and said, "Helen will." and walked away.

A while back you said, "I want to go outside now. Mama, tell my cereal I'm done eating it."

I said, "Zoe, I love you," and you said, "Me, too, but I'm sorry I just don't like you."

Zoe B, 3

2011-01-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

Ah, it's been way too long. Life has been NUTS around here.

Beginning in November, we had a lot of visitors and LOTS of action. Aunt Jess surprised me for my birthday (and you!), which ruled.

Then, we found out you're going to have a little sister. I am SO excited for you (and for all of us)! I hope having a little sister turns out to be as fun for you has it has been for me. I bet you'll be a lot easier on your little sister than I was on mine, too.

For Thanksgiving, we went to Branson again with Grandma Jackie, Grandpa Russell, Uncle Mark, Aunt Jill, Caitie, Sophie and Dominic. You had THE GREATEST time. You are a total Sophie groupie and was so excited to be staying in a hotel with her. You woke up every morning and said, "Where's Sophie? Can we go to her room?"

While in Branson, we went to Silver Dollar City and you rode your first real rides. You went on the teacups, the elephant ride and the haunted mine. You were all over it. Here you are with your handsome daddy on the elephants.

Next comes the best part, your BIRTHDAY. You had been talking about your birthday since...um, September? "When I turn into 3, I'm going to get a pink house." Some neighbors up the street had a pink playhouse on their driveway that you thought was the bee's knees. So, we had a lot of buildup. Pink house mania was reaching fever pitch. God, I'm glad Aunt Jess was here for the first week of pink-house ownership because she plays anything you want all the time so you were in heaven.

We had your birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, which turned out to be both awesome and horrible. The first half was awesome - you were so excited, you played games with your friends and then...it went to shit. A person dressed up in a Chuck E. Cheese costume came out to your birthday table and scared the crap out of you and continued to scare the crap out of you for the following few weeks (well, the memory of him did). Hell, it's January 17 as I type this and every now and then you still mention how much you don't like Chuckie.

I'm so far behind this is going to have to be a two-parter. I'll go ahead and post this to get your Grandpa David off my back and then I'll come back and work on part 2 - St. Louis and Christmas!

Zoe B, teenager

2010-10-22T15:45:00.001-07:00

Dear Zoe,

I think I am getting a REALLY good feel for what life will be like when you are a teenager. At a little shy of 3, you are already rolling your eyes at me, sighing in disgust, and have gone in the bedroom and slammed the door. LOUD. You even talk on your princess cell phone and say things like, "No, Kendall, I DON'T want to go to your sleepover."

I have to say, I find it hilarious. I have to try HARD not to laugh when you throw a big fit and you say, "I'M MAD! LOOK AT MY FACE!" Because you're just so cute and funny no matter what you're doing.

Now that you're about to "turn into 3" (as you say), you are really zero-ing in on the upcoming dates of Halloween and your birthday. Here's a conversation we have at least once a week these days:

Zoe: "Mama, there's that pink house I am going to get for my birthday!" (a family up the street has a pink playhouse in their driveway and you are in LOVE with it)
Me: "When is your birthday?"
Zoe: "On Becember 6th and I'm going to turn into 3. And Jack is 7 and Josie is 11 and what's your number, Mom?"
Me: "34."
Zoe: "...and what's Dada's?"
Me: "38."
Zoe: "Oh. Well I'm going to get that pink house for my birthday."

You are going to be Snow White for Halloween. You were CONVINCED you wanted to be Cinderella but the costume we ordered was too big and you couldn't walk in it. There wasn't a smaller size so I asked you what we should do. I was ready for you to MELT because you had been talking about being Cinderella for about a month. But you just said, "I'm going to be Snow White!" Way to roll with it, kid! And I think you're going to be the best, cutest Snow White ever. Grandma Patty is fixing up the costume as we speak and she's going to mail it to us any day now.

Trick or Treat SMELL MY FEET is something you think is awesome and say constantly. I hope you actually say that at people's doors because that would RULE.

Like I mentioned earlier, you are starting to really act like a teenager/3 year old (who knew those two age groups display such similar behavior? Probably everyone but me). You have big fits now if things aren't going JUST the way you want them to or I don't let you do everything yourself, OR if I don't do what you tell me to do. I can sympathize, kid, it's hard. I still try all the time at 34 to make people do what I want. Only I've (somehow) figured out how not to throw myself on the ground every time I don't succeed. Maybe that's what you should focus on.

You are still, of course, absolutely smitten with your brother and sister. On the weekend in the morning, you wake up and rush downstairs and say to Jack,"Dude. Let's play Mario." You seem to be finally big enough to do what they do (although I don't know how you could possibly play Super Mario Galaxy, I can't even play that game) and you LOVE it.

I can't CAN'T believe that you're going to be 3 in a little over a month. One might think I don't understand how time works, and I guess I don't. Though I can't at all remember my life without you in it, I also still think of you as my little baby girl and can't accept that you're growing up so fast. Please stay little a bit longer, my sweet. PLEASE.

I love you,
Mama

Michigan 2010 by Grandma Patty

2010-09-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe,

Paradise isn’t just a beautiful village in the upper peninsula of Northern Michigan; it’s four weeks of the summer with you Zoe B and all those you love. Nirvana would be 8 weeks, but you don’t have to think about that because you are always in that sweet place.

Zoe, you are so good and sweet at being 2 1/2 years old. You seem much older than that. What an aura of contentment you have. That means you seem to be happy and at ease most all the time. To wake up and laugh first thing in the morning, Zoe you make my heart sing. I can imagine waking up every morning and hearing your voice; it would be the best way to start my day. It’s not just a doting Grandma speaking; it is beauty, warmth, fun and laughter. It makes my home have a special sheen, kind of like when a baby is born in your bedroom. Do you remember Chelsea when Jessie was born? It was golden light.

Sam and Tansy, the furry friends who live here, were your delight as you meandered out to the kitchen. They were happy to wait as you filled their bowls and laughed and admired them twirling around your legs. I suspect Sam’s recent lack of enthusiasm for his same-old-kibble may be related to your absence. But I really think he misses how much you threw the ball for him. I miss your help with him too. He NEVER wants to stop playing ball.

One of the true gifts of getting older is how much I appreciate the things that I love; being with my babies is what I love. So you non-sentimental folks, just switch to youtube and be done with me.
Going to the beach is what we do in Michigan in the summer. The waves are as big as an ocean; the water isn’t salty and this year the great lakes are warmer than ever. The water is clear and the bottom isn’t mucky or rocky. The beach is wide and the sand is close to white and pretty fine. We hang there and build castles, run in the streams formed by odd wind changes eat, drink, swim, bury ourselves and pretend we’re whatever we want to be. Mostly we are in love with life. Chelsea reminds me that I’m never allowed to leave northern Michigan; she rails about the weather in Kansas and generally remembers why she loved growing up in northern Michigan.

This year you had not one, but two tubing adventures on the Platte River. Zoe, you are now a solo tuber. Your momma thought for sure that you’d want to share a tube with her on your first cruise down the river; but no, she wound up swimming or walking so you could have it to yourself. You even had a little snooze in your tube at the end of the trip. Way to recreate Zoe. On the second trip you were a regular tube master. Ten of us on the river: Colin, Jess, Aaron, Michael, Brian, Kieran, Eileen momma and me. You are now an experienced squirt gunner as well. Girl you amaze me. That would have been the ultimate perfect summer day if the 50 million flies hadn’t waited for us at the mouth of Lake Michigan. But we made it to the cars and saved the day!

It was really great to have Josie and Jack for two weeks of the time you were in Michigan. Remember how much fun you three had running on the trampoline at Torch Lake. I have such great pictures of that day. Who cares if it rains, right? You are very fortunate to have such a great brother and sister.

Zoe B what a great sail we had on Phil’s boat this summer. You were so brave to jump into your momma’s ever loving arms into the deep water. Life jacket required of course. Aunt Jess twirled you around in the water for your usual best friend good time. Poor J.J. was broken heart-hearted to leave you again.

I was saved from heart-sickness by the fact that I’m going to see you again this month in Chicago. And I can’t wait!

You surprised me with how often you seem to be thinking about what is going on around you and then talking about it. One day you said, “ Remember grandma when I didn’t want to hold your hand in the parking lot and I cried and cried. And then we saw that pig walking down the street and we laughed and laughed.” I can’t imagine forgetting that. Nobody’s that smart at 2 ½.

Your little green swing on my deck is really empty without you Zoe. Oh how I love to push you up in the swing, up in the sky so blue. I do think it is the pleasantest thing ever a grandma can do.

I don’t think we blew enough bubbles, did we? I’m sure we didn’t eat near enough ice cream. And I’ll always read you one more book. So I’m bringing some with me and we’ll head out for vanilla with sprinkles. See you soon my sweetest angel.

I Love you. Grandma Patty

September 2010

2010-09-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe B,

I know I have been completely negligent about updating this website. Your Grandpa David is about to ex-communicate me from the family. He's one of your absolute biggest fans, Zoe B, and that makes you a very lucky girl. It's just so much happens and the longer I go, well you know...the harder it gets to keep things updated.

We had a GREAT summer. Michigan was perfect and you absolutely loved being at your Grandma Patty's house for a whole month. Dogs and cats and beaches and boats and tubing and ice cream almost every single day.

Your Grandma's going to write a letter for you about your trip, so I won't say anything more about your awesome Michigan summer.

Let's talk about what a big girl you are, shall we?

"My birthday is on Becember 6th and I'm going to turn into three."

THREE?

You are very into playing with your doctor kit lately. You actually didn't even have one, but your Grandpa Russell and Grandma Jackie took you on a date to the mall and one of the things you came home with was a Dora Goes to the Doctor book (you also came home with the most fabulous stuffed Owl named Miss Hoots who is very well accessorized indeed). After reading this book 100 times, you started walking around banging the hell out of everyone's knees with your version of a reflex hammer which happened to be a wooden toy hammer.

So - off your Dad went to Target to get you a Dr. kit with a hammer that might leave all of our knees in better shape. We play A LOT of doctor around here. Someone always needs a shot or has a broken arm. You're still a little rough with the hammer, but you'll learn.

You have gotten kind of hard to photograph - well, photograph well I should say. You put on this ridiculous smile that is such a far cry from your real smile that I can't even take the picture without laughing.

I'm going to make that a goal this fall - to get out the good camera and try and get some good shots of you. It's good to have goals, even if you never meet them. http://m.npr.org/story/129528196

I love you, my sweet angel baby.

Mama

A letter from Aunt Jess

2010-07-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Dear "The Most Awesome Person Alive: Zoe B., 2 and 1/2",

I just got back from spending the fourth of july week-end with you and your family and I have to tell you, you're basically the coolest person who has ever lived. You have gotten SO BIG that I cannot even believe it. The last time I saw you was at christmas, which was 6 months ago. It might as well have been 6 years - you are like an adult now. Except cooler than an adult. By a lot.

You and your momma picked me up at the airport and you were shy for about 2 minutes - then you remembered that we're best friends. I also picked you right up and smooched all over you and you looked at me like - well, ok, you seem to look like me and act like me - so I'll let you smooch on my cheeks. You were really excited about the planes and the buses all around us.
You said "I wish I could go on a plane.... I wish I could go on a bus.... Can I go on a bus momma?"
Your momma said - "not right now, but we will soon ok?"
You said to me "My momma says, not right now."
I can't believe she can say no to you at all because you are so absolutely adorable when you say it and make everything you ask for seem totally reasonable. The Bauer-Greene force is strong with you my love.

Anyway, right then and there I decided that I would do anything you wanted because we're soulmates and if I don't spoil you like the awesome person that you are then who will? So here is what we did

* We blew bubbles and you laughed and laughed - especially when you blew them right into my face.

* I pushed you on the swing and pretended you were crashing into me everytime and you laughed so hard.
* We twirled around to the song on your new princess phone, I made up the words and you and I danced to it for like 150 million times. It was so completely great. (The song was to a waltz and went like this: "we're twirling around...around...around, we're twirling around, around, around... we're twirling around and arounnnnd and we fall down on our butts bu-bu-butts.) Then you would say "LET'S DO IT AGAIN AUNT JESSIE!" and I would say "OK!"
* We went swimming at grandpa david's house and you showed me how really excellent you are at jumping into the water
* We went to the movies and saw what you called "Toys thattalk" which was Toy Story 3 and you thought it was fun - but we did have to take a break in the middle to go get some m&ms and run down the corridor a few times. But really, who doesn't need to do that at the movies?
* we went to a clifford exhibit downtown where you were the cutest of all the kids and everyone knew to get out of your way because you are so awesome.

* We went to target and got groceries to make cupcakes and you helped put all of them in the cart and on the conveyor belt to check out. While your momma paid you and I twirled around with you in my arms and i gave you smooches on the neck. You thought this so so tickle-y so you tried to lick my face to make me stop. Whatever dude, try and gross me out by licking my face - IT WON'T WORK.
* We took naps together where you would snuggle up to me for a little bit, but then scooch back over to your mom and say 'i want huggies momma. I want you momma.' I just about died from adorable.
* We also had slumber parties together - you and your mom and I slept in the same giant bed and you would want to talk and talk and not go to sleep. The best was when you rolled over to me, put your arm around my neck - patted my cheek and said "hey chubby". Good one kid.
* We read soooo many books and you read them to me too - you have the best memory ever, you can almost recite pages by heart! If I tried to jump in you'd say "Don't say MY WORDS Jessie!"

* We took baths and I let you pour in the bubbles...you of course dumped in ALL of the bubbles but I was like..that's cool with me, so we just took a bath with sky high bubbles. There really are no worries when you're with your best friend.
* We ate so much sugar your mom said I would be responsible for your diabetes when you get older - but she just doesn't get that soulmates like us can eat endless sugar - it just fuels the coolness you know?

I had so much fun with you sweet girl, you really are such a source of joy in my life. I thought you might be sad to see me go but you were all "BYE!" and I was glad because if you would have cried I would have had to stay to make you happy. I would do ANYTHING for that bright smile and high pitched laugh.

If I'm ever having a bad day I can pull up a movie of you and feel better after watching it, I can video chat with you and it reminds me of what the really important things are in life. I am learning those important things are to be happy, to enjoy every moment and to have a great sense of wonder about this crazy world we live in and I'm learning it all from you. Of course. You're Zoe B., 2 and 1/2.

Please never stop...

2010-06-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

Zoe,

Please never stop saying the following things:

* MilkSugar. You call milkshakes by the name of MilkSugar. It is adorable.

* Ketchup Eggs. You refer to eggs as Ketchup Eggs - as you eat your eggs with ketchup.

* Fridge-id-dator. 'Nuff said.

* Lalla Bar. This is how you say granola bar.

And please PLEASE never stop saying your age after your name like it's your credentials. "I'm Zoe B, two and a half."

Thanks. Carry on.

Half and Two

2010-06-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe,

You are now "half-and-two" as you sometimes say. Spunky as all get out.

Some noteworthy conversations with the half and two year old:

Me: "Do you want some more milk?"
Zoe: "No, I'm good." (this you learned from your big sister)

Me: "Look, I downloaded this game for you..."
Zoe: "I 'ever saw that! That is so awwweesome!"

Me: "It's Daddy's birthday, today."
Zoe: "Yeah, it's not my birthday."
Me: "When is your birthday?"
Zoe: "Tuesday."

Me: "It's time for bed, Zoe B."
Zoe: "Here's the thing...I just want to read a little book for a little while, ok?"

Me: "Let me help you."
Zoe: "No! I'm a big girl!"

Hey remember that weaning thing I was talking about in my last letter? Well, you blew my mind with that, kiddo. I stopped the morning nursing and you protested a bit, but then stopped asking to nurse altogether - even when going to bed! What I thought would be a slow process...maybe 2-3 months, you knocked out in a week. Seriously. Way to show me up, dude.

Here's a shot from your big girl party, which you decided to have at Chuck E. Cheese. Who knew that Elton John sunglasses were in the prize case?!?

This month we went to the hot air balloon festival, which was pretty cool if you don't count the 50 minutes we spent standing in line to buy a $5 corn dog from a 6 year old kid. You loved the balloons, and when we finally got that corn dog you really loved that, too.

It's officially summer now, so we're doing a lot of swimming, staying up late, eating "vanilla-chocolate-sandwiches" (ice cream sandwiches) and playing outside. In a little over a month we'll be in Michigan where we can summer properly (not die of heat stroke and swim in actual lakes). Hooray!

This summer is going to be all kinds of fun, little girl. I just know it.

I love you,
Mama-sita

Dear Zoe B

2010-04-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

Dear "I Do It MYself" Zoe B,

Holy crap you're almost 2 and 1/2! Just typing that makes me want to smash my head into my keyboard and sob. I can't believe you are growing up so fast. PLEASE. STOP. For the love of god, kid. Stop growing so fast.

Still, you are more and more marvelous every day, which I guess has to be possible because it is happening before my very eyes. Life is magic. Never forget that.

We are just about to start the process of weaning. My breastfeeding goal was 2 years and you're almost 2.5, so I think we win. Plus, I think you're ready because you are getting so independent it's absurd. You want to do EVERYTHING by yourself, including drive the car. You're nothing if not ambitious. I figure if you think you can drive a car on your own, you can figure out how to fall asleep without nursing first.

You're only nursing at sleep times now, so I think it'll be fairly easy (probably harder on me than you). I have promised you a "big girl party" and you're very excited about that idea. Cupcakes at a park? You're IN. You have made that very clear.

One of my favorite things that you're doing right now happens when you see something that surprises you (like a field of cows or an ice cream store). You wrinkle up your nose and open your mouth WIDE and then say, "THAT IS SO COOOOOL!!" You look at me like, "Are you seein' this shit??"

The other big favorite these days is when you say, "this pencil is just perfect," when you get a pencil out, or "my little blankie is just perfect." I'll tell you what's just perfect, my little bean, and it's not that pencil.

You love to play outside and especially at the playground, where you are an adept little monkey climber. You get there, walk up to the slide or climbing wall, remove your shoes and get to work. It's pretty impressive.

You are a little ray of light in everyone's life. Jack and Josie are always thrilled to see you when they come back from their mom's, your Dad's eyes brighten when he walks in the door from work. I recently read a blog post that was full of amazing insight. My favorite bit was this:

"We don't have children - adopt them or give birth to them or summon them by stork - as a favor to them. They come to us as a favor to us. They are a gift to us. They rescue us."

That is exactly how I feel. You have been a gift to me, a favor to me, you have rescued me. And I am so lucky. And forever grateful.

I love you, my sweet angel baby,
Mama

Chicago, Detroit road trip

2010-04-30T08:49:00.001-07:00

I AM ZOE B

2010-03-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

Me: "You are so lucky."

Zoe: "No! I'm not lucky!"

Me: "Why not?"

Zoe: "Because I. AM. ZOE B!"

Dear jet-setting Zoe

2010-03-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

Just LOOK at you, kid!

In February we went to Florida with Grandma Patty, and this month we went to see Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Russell in Arizona. You are quite the jet-setter.

We have been so busy that I've hardly had time to write on this website and my Dear Zoe letter is later than EVER (well, ridiculously late if you consider Grandma Patty wrote last month's).

You had a FABULOUS time in Arizona. You spent lots of time with your brother and sister and you were especially glued to your cousin Sophie. You'd wake up in the morning and say, "Is Soph awake?"

You had a great time in the pool engaging in all sorts of shenanigans with the big kids. You are definitely one of the big kids now, dude. Weird.

This month you have started the "but why?"only it's not annoying, it's totally cute. You kind of pucker up your lips and say, "but why?" like you will never be able to comprehend why it's not such a great idea to sit on the edge of your learning tower and try to turn on the faucet with your feet.

Your dad occasionally says "ma'am" to you and your sister...he'll say, "thank you, ma'am" or "of course, ma'am." Naturally you have picked this up, too. I told you to get in the car the other day and you said, "Well ok, MA'AM!"

You're sleeping in your big girl bed like a champ and you're down to nursing just at sleep times and you're rollin' with that better than I ever thought you would. You're so grown up, Zoe B!

I love you, my sweet bean. So much. More every single day.

Mama

shazam!

2010-03-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

Destin, Florida, with Grandma P

2010-03-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

A letter from Grandma Patty.

Dear Zoe B,

I had so much fun with you in Florida. It all started when you ran to greet me as I got off the plane in Memphis. I didn’t realize that you would be meeting my plane. And there you were smiling and happy to hug me. What a welcome that was for me. Your Mom was right behind you smiling so wide. She is so very proud of you. It is such a joy to see how much she loves you.

It was so good of you to share the painting of those pretty ponies; and then to be able to do it again and again. I had never seen such cool “paper dolls”, (that’s what we called them when your Mom and I were younger). The magnets make it easy and cool. I like how we gave those girls a swing in your new shoes. Do you remember?

I’m enclosing some pictures so that you can remember some of our adventures in Florida. The sand was so white that you at first would call it snow. Pretty soon you realized that it was only the same color, but we made some sand angels anyway. Our hotel was so close to the playground on the beach. That was a neat surprise. We had lots of fun there, even after it rained that one day. Remember we couldn’t slide inside that big dog because of all the water? Here are some pictures of us at that very spot, including inside eating lunch.

You really had a good time with your beach ball even when we were inside our hotel. Do you remember that? Your Mom got some great exercise chasing that ball on the windiest day.

Seeing the dolphins in Destin Bay when we were eating dinner that first night was a grand surprise. We knew then that we would have to take the dolphin cruise in Destin Bay. That was a beautiful trip; the late afternoon sun made everything glimmer. I learned a great deal and I appreciated the trip into Choctawhatchee Bay. You got to select a prize from the treasure chest. How has your crabbie adjusted to the weather in Kansas? I’ll bet that she’s happy as long as she’s with you.

I almost forgot about the train ride in Destin Commons and dinner at Zoe’s Kitchen. We were the only ones on the train. Wasn’t that great?

I’m so glad I got to ride with you on the plane to Memphis, but sorry to have to dash off so quickly to my next plane.

You are such a joy my sweet Zoe B. I can’t wait to see you again soon. I love you so!

I’ll be seeing you on video chat.

Your Adoring Gramma Patty.

2010-02-18T22:16:00.001-08:00

Today it was a balmy 45! So we went to the park.

a snow adventure

2010-02-12T16:15:00.000-08:00

An Email from Grandma Jackie

2010-02-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Zoe,

What have you been playing today? Did it snow some more? It is a pretty day here in Fountain Hills. The birds are happy and chirping. Have you played your piano today? I found a picture of Josie sitting at the black piano that's in our playroom in Lawrence. She is probably a little bit older than you in the picture and she isn't wearing a shirt. She used to get pretty hot when she was little so she would remove her top!

In three days Grandpa Russ and I are getting on an airplane and flying back to Kansas. We will see if you can come visit us while we are home. We miss you and all of your family. See you soon.

Love,
Grandma Jackie

February 2010

2010-02-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Zoe,

I am so proud of you. I got you some snowpants in the fall because playing in the snow is one of life's greatest pleasures as a child. I made the mistake of trying to get you to put them on when you were on the crabby side one day and you decided that snowpants suck. In some ways I guess they do, but without them you are LOST.

Michael Holloway sent me a cartoon about this very thing:

Anyway, you refused to wear the snowpants for quite some time. I would try and get you to come out with me and Josie and Jack but you would stand in the doorway and freak out because you wanted to come out but would not put your snowpants on.

Somehow, I convinced you to put them on (this probably involved bribery - but I'm not above the stuff) and voila! You LOVE them. You even wear them inside the house sometimes. I don't care so much about that - however I do care that we played outside in the snow the other day for HOURS. We built a snowperson (that is what we call them in this family - don't even try for 'snowman'), we made snow angels and did some sledding. You were in total snow heaven with your tiny little snowpants on.

In other news, you have picked up some hilarious phrases. You say things like, "Oh my god! That's weird." and "It's probly in my room." When I asked you when something will happen you usually say, "At 2:45."

We frequently have exchanges like this:

You: "Mama, you want my 'nana?" (banana)
Me: "No, thanks."
You: "You HAVE TO WANT IT."

That is so Bauer-Greene. We love to try and MAKE people want things they may or may not want. It is TOTALLY FUTILE, but it's sort of fun to try. So keep it up, it makes me laugh.

When your uncle Colin was little and nursing he used to say, "Nurse-side other side" when he wanted to switch sides. You used to say, "Lulla bit, please." (for 'other breast, please - I think) Then you started saying, "Other switch, please." Now you hilariously just say, "I want THAT ONE" or "That side please!" It's cute and you're always very polite.

You have gotten very into watching TV, which has its advantages and disadvantages, obviously. You watch Dora and Kai-Lan so you are learning words in Spanish and Chinese. I can help you with the Spanish, but the Chinese is lost on me. Grandpa in Chinese is "Ye Ye" - which sounds remarkably similar to Lil Jon saying "YEAH!" (if you don't know what I'm talking about, google it - you'll understand). I'm only going to be steering you in the wrong direction, my love, and for that I apologize.

You don't seem to understand that you can't just watch TV all the time or whenever you want. If I say no, you absolutely lose it and scream, "BUT I WANT MY KAI-LAN!"

It's adorable how you say "my Kai-Lan" - you do that for everyone else in your life, too. You say, "I'm going to play with my friend, Josie" or "I'm going to see my Layna" or "I want to bid-chat my Aunt Jess!" (I want to video chat). There just has never been anything more endearing. Well, maybe there has, since almost everything you do is endearing, but this has to be up there.

You are very independent, Zoe B. "I do it MYself!" is something I hear a lot of these days. Emphasis on the MY in myself. If you want me to do it for you, you'll say "You do it. You do it YOURself."

I love you, sweet pea. You are the BOMB DIGGITY. (I know, I'm lame. Sorry.)

Love,
Mama

science experiment

2010-01-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

Zoe B in 2010

2010-01-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

Dear 2 years and 1 month Zoe,

Well, here we are in a new decade. I can't BELIEVE it's 2010. You, oddly, don't seem to care.

December was a crazy, over-the-top Santa Dora Nochebuena reindeer snowperson Christmas extravaganza. I don't know who the hell seriously uses the word extravaganza, but here it really does seem fitting.

You were so completely captured by the magic of Christmas that I almost started believing in Santa Claus again myself. Seeing how entranced you were with it all made me want to kick all of the bah-humbuggers in the balls.

We went to the mall with Liz and Gabby to sort of passively check out Santa Claus. You were totally into the idea that he was there, but of course did not want to sit in his lap. And you kept telling me for days later that you saw Santa and, "I not sit in his lap." Your Dad took you to Blockbuster to pick up some Christmas movies and he said that when you got back in the car you said, "I not see him!" I guess you figured Santa would be at Blockbuster with the Christmas movies. If only, kid. If only.

The best part of Christmas for me was you and how into it you were, but I was also totally over the moon about my family coming into town. Aunt Jess came and stayed an entire week (unheard of!), and Mom, Phil and Colin drove all the way here from Michigan. We all got along swimmingly and no one puked. We had SO.MUCH.FUN. It even snowed. A ton. It really was one of the best Christmases of my life. Cue violins.

Now it's January and it has been RIDICULOUSLY cold (a few days ago it was -2) so we've been home a lot. The big kids were off school for three whole weeks. Let's just say you watched a lot of Dora. But it's cozy and warm in our house and snowy and cold outside, sort of how winter is supposed to be.

You are like a little sponge, Bean. This morning your dad and I were wrestling and being the huge dorks that we are and he pulled my pants down. Of course, I shouted, "Don't!" And you said, "Don't pull-ah Mama's pants down!" I said, "Oh, it's ok, he's just messin' around." Your Dad started tickling you and smoochin' on you later in the day and you said, "Stop it! I don't want to mess around!"

This evening when were driving home from having dinner out with Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Russell we were all singing in the car trying to keep you awake. You were singing You Are My Sunshine and I melted into a puddle on the seat.

You are my shun-shine, my little shun-shine
You make me happy, and skies are great
You'll never know, dear, so much I love you
Please don't take my little shun-shine away

I think I was still ON the seat, just in complete liquid form.

I love you so much it HURTS sometimes, kid. You are my little shun-shine.

Love,
Mama

I KNOW, I KNOW

2010-01-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

I know Zoe's letter this month is late. Pretty soon you're all going to start getting on my case about it so I'm going to beat you to the punch.

See, I started this new blog OVER HERE. I'm trying to post every single day, as well as generate READERS. This stuff takes time, so it's been, you know, taking up my time.

I promise I'll get Zoe's super Christmas extravaganza letter up this weekend.

Thanks for your patience.

Christmas 2009 in pictures

2010-01-08T21:03:00.001-08:00

CLICK TO ENLARGE

practice for college applications

2009-12-19T21:19:00.003-08:00

How the heck is my child old enough to sit and do this?

Happy Birthday, Zoe B!

2009-12-06T17:19:00.000-08:00

You're 2 years old, I can't believe it.

Here you are two years ago...

...and one year ago...

...and now! Crazy!

Last night we had your birthday party. We had your grandparents over (minus G'ma Patty, the Michigan Grandma who was busy in the snow up there), a bunch of friends and their kids. You were totally into it - we'd celebrated my birthday last month and I guess you took notes because you knew just what to do. You clapped along as we sang Happy Birthday and you blew your candles out like you'd been doing for at least a decade. I'm glad you're getting the message that birthdays are a big deal. We celebrate the crap out of birthdays in this family, kid.

One of your favorite presents was a box of plastic princess shoes (for the love of God!) from your friend Gabby. They have inspired you to take up tap dancing. See below. [*requires sound*]

In November we took a short little trip to Omaha, Nebraska. I never in my life thought I'd type that sentence. But I wanted a little weekend trip that would get us out of town but without having to go to far and people kept saying Omaha was great, so I decided to give it a try. Who knows, the midwest is full of surprises. And crazy religious people. But that's beside the point.

The zoo in Omaha was actually really pretty incredible. The weather was an astounding 60 degrees and sunny and you were really excited to see all of the animals - your favorite being a tiny little gorilla baby who was being held by one of the zookeepers. He was even wearing a baby diaper. You were VERY intrigued.

You are talking up a storm and you're very articulate. Today Jack came up to your Dad and said, "Zoe can almost say dictionary!"

The other day you were sitting at the table with your little rubber stamps and ink pad and you couldn't get the monkey the right way up and you said, "Oh shoot! What the heck?!?" You have also started saying, "What the?!?" and if someone corrects you (you said Happy Halloween-days instead of Happy Holidays, for example), you say, "Oh, Happy Holidays, that's right!" I knew once you started talking you'd bring the awesome. And boy, do you ever.

And...best of all, you have started to say "I love you, Mama" without me even MAKING you do it! Or even asking nicely. It is the best thing on EARTH. The absolute BEST THING.

I love you, Beanie. You'll never understand how much. Maybe when you have a child of your own...but I doubt it. Because I love you more than anyone has EVER loved anyone or ever will. So take that.

Mama

2009-11-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

I CAN COUNT!

2009-11-12T12:29:00.000-08:00

23 months and counting....

2009-11-12T10:55:00.001-08:00

Dear Zoe B,

Last week you turned the big ole 23 months - I hope you enjoy the last weeks of your 2nd year and prepare yourself for your third. I think it's going to blow your mind. Or at least it will blow mine.

I mentioned in my last post that I thought September would be known as the month you learned to accessorize. If in September you LEARNED to accessorize, in October you took that knowledge and RAN. You don't mess around. You even accessorized the hell out of your Halloween costume.

Speaking of Halloween....I was optimistic early in the month when you graciously agreed to try on several costumes and told me specifically that of the two you tried on (monkey and butterfly) that you preferred the monkey. I became less optimistic when, after purchasing the monkey costume, you refused to put it on and told everyone you were going to be a butterfly. You refused to put the costume on for the Kindermusik Halloween party and then flat out refused to go to Kindermusik at all. My hopes for Halloween began to plummet. But - somehow on the day before Halloween when it was time to go Trick-or-Treating at your Dad's office, it all came together for you. All along the costume just needed something...it wasn't complete and therefore you didn't want to wear it. It needed....flair.

With your pink boots and your mardi gras necklaces and your Hello Kitty sunglasses, the monkey costume was perfect. And you ROCKED IT. And my shy girl TRICK or TREATED! You didn't say anything, but you knew what you were doing and you collected that candy very diligently. I was so proud.

Earlier in the month we went and visited Grandma Patty, Uncle Colin and Sammy in Michigan. I was terrified of the flights because our experience flying with you to NYC in June all but made me take an oath that I'd never fly with anyone under 4 again. But you were like a different kid this time. What a difference 4 months makes in the life of a toddler. You had your own seat and you played with your Dora and Diego sticker books and drank your juice and were an all-around star traveler. Nice work, dude.

You had a great time with your Grandma and Sam and Uncle Colin even built some train tracks with you when he wasn't sleeping or....sleeping. We played outside and went to the pumpkin patch and you helped Grandma make blueberry muffins and took Sam for walks. Holy crap do you love Sam. Just don't get any ideas, we are NOT getting a dog. Never in a hundred million years. Just don't quote me on that because I never thought in a hundred million years your Grandma would get a dog and look at the current state of affairs at HER house. Hmmm.

And in our daily lives we are still enjoying hanging with Grandpa, GabbyYiz, and you are totally enamored with your brother and sister. Not long ago when we were driving to their school to pick them up, you started singing, "Jack and Jo Jo love me!"
I almost crashed into a field of goats it was so cute.

I am, as ever, completely and totally head over heels for you, kid. Don't ever question it.

Love,
Mama

P.S.
I just told you it's time for lunch and you said, "Nooooooo! I don't like food!"

22 ass-kickin months

2009-10-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe B,

You really turned it up a notch this month, kid. Seriously. Look at you.

The other day you were playing around in the living room with your Daddy and all of a sudden you stiffened up and moved your arms slightly and said, "I'm . A. Ro. Bot." That was a moment that I hope I never forget because it was like we had been waiting for you to do something like that without really knowing it. It was like you learned to ride a bike or something. We were practically jumping up and down. Yes, we are that lame. As I'm sure you know.

Since then there have been a few times that you've put up a fight going to bed and you pulled that out of your bag of tricks. You stood up on the bed and did your "I'm a robot" thing and then I'm laughing and you know what that means. That means Zoe takes the lead. Another good one you have in your bag is to be nursing all quietly and peacefully and suddenly put your hand up and go, "High five!"

I think September 09 might go down in history as the month you learned to accessorize. You started wearing hats. All the time. And Band-Aids. All the time. And your "pack pack".

And then...there are the things you say.

"Hold ya" - you say this when you want me to pick you up or if you want me to carry your baby. It's adorable.

We put up our Halloween paintings and one of them is a grave that says "RIP Here Lies Seymour Butts" and you look at it and say "MORE. BUTTS!"

When we tickle your belly and point to your belly button we say "Belly But-tau" like we're French. Don't ask. But, you have adapted this to "Beh Ta Tau!" It almost makes me want to get a French AuPair so we can hear you say more things that sound French. That would be the kind of "going to extremes" thing that made me a bit of a legend in my twenties. But that is neither here nor there.

As always, you are nothing but a pure delight, my little love. Every day is more fun than the last though I never think it's going to be possible.

I sure love you, rascal face.
Mama

21 MONTHS

2009-09-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

...and I really am starting to lose track of these months. I have really started saying, "she's almost 2" or "she'll be 2 in December" when people ask Zoe's age.

Dear Dzoy (this is how you say your name),

Last month when I wrote your letter we were in Michigan enjoying summer, which is something that most Kansas Citians can't fathom. This summer happened to be a pretty mild summer in KC, so they lucked out. Still, they were lacking a giant freshwater lake. You had such an amazing time there, I am so glad we were able to go for a whole month.

That said, you were still very glad to get back to your Dada, Jack and Jo-Jo, your Gampa (Grandpa David) and your buddies Gobby (Gabby) and Yiz (Liz). All your toys were like new toys again and SOMEHOW, even at the end of August, the weather decided to be nice to us and mellow the fuck out. I know I shouldn't be swearing in a letter to a toddler, but I really do picture you reading these when you're like 25. I know you'll probably read them before then, but it's not like you won't have heard these words before and you know what? You need to know who I am. As a person, not just as your mother. As a person, I swear. I just do.

You are absolutely, hands-down huge fans of the following things:

1.) The Gee-Gone. This is how you say playground and you.are.obsessed. You love to climb and slide and swing and I have yet to hear you say that you want to go home from the gee-gone. I ask everytime...sometimes even after 2 hours and you always say no, you don't want to go home. Almost everytime we drive or walk away you say, "Gee-Gone! Fun!"

2.) Shoes. You la-la-love shoes. Hello, Mini-Aunt Jess. You put shoes on FIRST THING OUT OF BED. And a lot of times you insist that I also put shoes on. So we hang out in our jammies and shoes for the first hour of the day.

3.) Diego, or "Liego". I don't know how it happened but you are absolutely nuts about Diego the animal rescuer. Elmo used to be your true love but you have forsaken him for a little Hispanic kid who swings on vines in the jungle rescuing animals with his sidekick Baby Jaguar. It seriously CRACKS.ME.UP. You sing, "go liego, go liego, go liego, go liego!"

You also love broccoli, bike-rides, lunchboxes, taking baths, video chatting, playing with your Grandma Jackie's accessories, your play kitchen, your rocking horse and reading books.

The other day when you were tired and ready for bed, I was changing the sheets and you were growing impatient. You started to sort of fake cry and fuss and I kept telling you that we'd go to bed and nurse and snuggle your blankie when I got the bed made. You just kept at it and I finally said, in a very exasperated tone, "Why are you getting so mad!?!" and you looked at me and said, "I laughin'," with a little smirk. "You're laughing, huh?" I said. And you said, "Ha! YEAH!!" Like - I got you, lame-o.
I think you've got my number, kid.

You are SO verbal. You are talking ALL THE TIME, more and more every day. In the middle of the night last night you sat up and said, "Mama, water please." When I gave you the water you said, "Tink yoo." Sometimes when you say "Tink yoo" you go ahead and say "Welcome" right after. I think to save me the trouble. You're so thoughtful that way.

You also have started calling me "mom". I thought I had at least a few years of "Mama", but nope. Sometimes when you're nursing you let go and look up and say, "Hi, Mom." or if you're doing something amazing (which is always), you'll say, "Watch! Mom!"

One of my favorite things you say is "Ready up!" You say this in the morning after we lay in bed a bit and nurse and you're just done with it all and are ready to get up and play. "READY UP!"

I know I'm forgetting all kinds of things - every month this happens. I think of a million things I need to write and then when the time comes I blank out. Looks like you might be putting your old mom in a home sooner than you think, my love. My memory is GOING. That is, unless your Dad's theories actually pan out and medical science finds a way to extend our lives past the 200 year mark. I have yet to be convinced.

In short, you are the light of my life, my sweet girl. Really and truly, I love everything about you. You're rascally and fun and sweet and cuddly and adventurous and daring and funny and light-hearted and just so happy all the time. I hope you are able to find joy and happiness all throughout your life the way that you do now. Unless that joy comes from becoming a right-wing christian conservative nutjob.
Just kidding. Sort of.

I love you, my sweet. Every night before I fall asleep I look forward to waking up to your smiling face.

Love,
Sappy Mama

These nachos are boring. More sugar please.

2009-08-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Elmo-loving, hat-wearing, hose-weilding Michigan baby

2009-08-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

Grandma, you are magical

2009-08-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

20 months

2009-08-10T19:46:00.001-07:00

Dear Zoe,

In just 4 months you'll be 2 whole years old, which makes sense because you seem to have reached all of your 1 year old milestones. You walk, you run, you talk, you say fuck, what else is there to accomplish as a 1 year old?

You are really enjoying your Michigan summer. And your Michigan sand. Man, do you love that stuff. There is sand EVERYWHERE. In bed, in your hair, in your carseat, in your shoes, in your toys. Everywhere. If only I loved it as much as you do, we'd be sitting pretty.

You are pretty much in love with your Grandma's animals, you traitor. We are not dog people! We have already lost your Grandmother to Team Dog and now it seems you've crossed over as well. I have to admit, though, it is RIDICULOUSLY cute. And I do love how curious you are about them. I just can't stand it when the dog gets all excited and knocks you over. Your dad likes to call Sam a big hairy retarded kid. Hmm-mmm.

Right now your Aunt Jess and her boyfriend, Michael, are here from NYC as well as your Great Aunt Eileen and cousins Kieran, Michael and Brian. It's a zoo and you are having the time of your life. This means there is always someone available to find rocks with you at the beach, read you "The Wheels on the Bus" 5 times in a row, and so on. I've said this before but I'll say it again - I love seeing you with my family. It makes my heart swell to 4,000 times the size.

And, guess what? I love you. I love you so much that today when I was getting a massage I kept thinking, "This is awesome, but I'm excited to get back to my Zoe B." I had been gone exactly 46 minutes.

xoxoxoxoxoxo
Mama

Vampire Baby

2009-08-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

Sunscreen + cherries = baby star of True Blood

Grand Traverse Bay

2009-08-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Field work

2009-08-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

MICHIGAN!

2009-07-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Zoe B,

We are in Northern Michigan for a whole month! That's a long time, baby girl. We arrived Thursday after two days of driving (you watched more Elmo and Signing Time than any child should EVER watch) and man, you are eating this place up.

You are absolutely infatuated with the animals here - Sam the (freaking giant) dog and Tansy the cat. You were very unsure about them when we first arrived and would scream and shake when they got close to you, but now you're warming to them. You're happy with them when it's all on your terms, but if they come to close to you when you're not ready you scream a little and say, "HONEY!" or "NOOOOOO!". The "honey" is disgustingly cute. I think you say honey in times of distress because I call you honey when you're out of sorts/hurt/sad/etc. I told my mom this morning that I think Sam is rocking your world. A few times since we've been here you've startled awake and immediately cried out, "SAM!"...and one of the first things you do is look for that huge dog (pony?) when you wake up in the morning.

Here's a video of you "throwing" (might be a bit of stretch to call it throwing) the ball to Sam.

You can't get enough of your Grandma and she obviously loves you to pieces. She feeds you cookies for breakfast and takes you out for walks under the stars at 11.30 at night.

A word about nursing: you're too busy to eat much these days so I'm so glad you're still nursing. When you want to nurse you say, "NURSH-AH!" and when you want to switch sides you say, "bitch, mama." instead of "switch, mama." Ah, you and your filthy mouth. I actually had written a whole post about how you began to use a few swear words but then had to hide it due to your older sister Josie wanting to show someone your site. I'll dig it up again later so we'll have that story here as well.

I love you, Michigan Bean!

Mama

Holly Wood

2009-07-23T13:24:00.002-07:00

Ice cream stop

2009-07-23T13:24:00.001-07:00

Dinner date

2009-07-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

She isn't so sure about my dinner conversation.
"Get back in the car? Wha?"

At the Iowa Children's Museum

2009-07-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

Stop off at a state park in Iowa

2009-07-22T15:32:00.000-07:00

Snooze

2009-07-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Road trippin'

2009-07-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

On our way to Michigan for a month!

spaghetti sauce face

2009-07-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Zoe likes to spread her spaghetti sauce ALLLLLL over her face and then she blends right in with the orange wall in the dining room.

Chick-Un

2009-07-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

I think Chik-fil-a should take her on as a spokesperson.

19 whole freakin' months

2009-07-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

BEAN!

Sometimes I worry that these letters to you will all be basically the same - some variation of me saying, "God, Zoe, could you be any more awesome? This month you were awesome in ______ way and super awesome in _______ way. You are, in a word, awesome."

But who cares because at least it would be true.

This month your Dad and I took you to New York City to see Irene and FJ get married. You were quite skeptical of the whole affair, but I think that is because you finally realized that he was tying the knot and that you WEREN'T the bride. Ah, such is life. Still, you looked lovely. There were donuts instead of cake and pigs in blankets and your Grandma Patty and Aunt Jess were there doting on you.

You took NYC by storm - giving everyone, everywhere the stare of death. You would just stop in your tracks and stare at people in the most, dare I say, AWESOME way. It's like you're going to shoot lasers out of your eyes. Or like you're reading their thoughts and having to sift through a bunch of junk to get to the good stuff. Aunt Jess took you into a pizza parlor and the guy working there said, "Why is she doing that to me!? She's givin' me the business!" People say, "she's so serious!" which is kind of funny because geez, you're not serious. You just don't know why they exist and they need to get out of your way, clearly.

This month we also painted a wall in our house with chalkboard paint. It's really cool. Adds a lot of character to our very beige house. You love it and are always wanting people to "cogor!" (color) with you.

You're talking all the time, learning new words every single second and growing up right before my eyes. You have an awesome little sense of humor (you will say, "please, baby please!" and dance around when you're asking for something) and you smile big, huge smiles. Of course there are also times when you aren't getting what you want and you shriek like a mermaid and try and shatter all of the glass in the house. But, whatever.

In a few weeks we are leaving for Michigan for a whole month. You were there last summer but let's face it, you were a baby and spent most of your time just eating sand. Now you're a big girl and we're going to swim in the lake and walk on the beach and build sand castles and eat ice cream and wonder how Grandma Patty ended up having a giant dog living at her house. It's going to be great!

Ah, I love you sweet girl. Tons and tons and tons. You are EVERYTHING.

Love,
Mama

Big girl bed

2009-06-26T11:56:00.000-07:00

My big girl....

2009-06-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

18 months!

2009-06-07T20:11:00.001-07:00

Dear Zoe,

Yesterday you turned 18 months old - now you're officially 1 and 1/2. Crazy crazy crazy how much you've grown and changed in the last little bit.

I don't know when it happened, but it seems like suddenly you could understand everything I say and are miraculously able to talk right back.

Here are some snippets of our everyday exchanges:

ZB: "Sha-da? Sha-wa?"
CH: "You want to take a shower?"
ZB: "K." (and then you head into the bathroom and start taking off your clothes)

CH: "Can I have a kiss?"
ZB: "No."

You always say no now. Rats. But you can usually be talked into a high five.

ZB: (grabs shoes and walks to door) "CAR?"
CH: "You want to go somewhere in the car?"
ZB: "K. CAR!!"

ZB: (standing by the front door) "Ow-SIIIDE!"
CH: "Don't you want to eat your breakfast?"
ZB: "No. Side."

You're such a big girl, and boy do you have some strong feelings about things. There are many days where you will stand by the door and say "side!" or "ow-side!" until I give in and go out with you. You're not as easily diverted these days...I can rarely lure you away from your quest to break out of the house with a banana or a wadded up piece of tissue paper the way I could when you were, let's just be honest here, a BABY. Nope, you know what you want. It's a good thing, Zoe B.

You have started singing - I hope I can catch it on video. You sing the Elmo's World song...but in a way more awesome way than Elmo does. You say "la la la. la. la la la. ELMO."

You love the pool and have the greatest time jumping into my arms and climbing (with assistance, of course) back out up the ladder. Good thing we got pool passes!

As always, you love love love your brother and sister and every car on the road is driven by your 'da-da' and you frequently go over to the computer and say "Jesh!" or "Buppa!" You and your Buppa have a special bond, I think. He says that you want up in his arms and once there you just stare into his eyes for the longest time. (I think understand this - his eyes are the most striking ice blue. Either that or he is transferring his special powers to you. Probably both.) We spent the day in Lawrence today with your Grandma Jackie, Grandpa Russell, Aunt Jill and cousins Sophie and Dominic. You had a grand time with Aunt Jill and Grandma Jackie trying on all their jewelery and learning to say things like "ring" and "necklace" because lord knows you're not going to learn those words in this house. Ha!

You are super rascally, but in a great way. I love it (most of the time!) when you do stuff like paint your chest with mayonaisse or toss your dad's cheez-its into the pitcher of water. Cracks me up. Lightens the mood one might say.

I was thinking about trying to night-wean you a few weeks ago. You were waking up a ton at night and I was having to nurse you and nurse you and nurse you and I thought maybe you're big enough now to not nurse at night. But then I didn't figure into the equation how much it melts my heart to hear my sleepy girl say "nursh" in the middle of the night. It is so cute that I completely ditched my night-weaning plans. That and you started sleeping a lot better not long after that plan was hatched. So, forget that crappy idea. You might be a toddler now, but at night when you're all cuddled up to me nursing with your little tiny feet resting on my hip you really still are my baby. And you always will be.

I love you my sweet bean.
Mama

Next Mozart

2009-06-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

On a walk

2009-05-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

...wearing two different shoes.

Rascal

2009-05-24T19:44:00.001-07:00

Visiting our friends in Minneapolis/St.Paul

2009-05-18T16:01:00.001-07:00

Zoe and I are in St. Paul, MN, visiting the Corradini family. I met Fabrizio, Catherine, Nicola, Antonio and Alexia when I was living in Oxford. I was the worst waitress England had ever seen, so I decided to stop that and pursue one of the other options for people who couldn't work legally in the UK which was babysitting. I helped out Catherine while she was very pregnant with Alexia by hanging out with Nicola (4) and Antonio (2). I held Alexia the day she was born. Then I went back to the states for a few years and they called me when they were about to move to Italy and needed help as at that time Catherine was very pregnant with Raffaele. I also held Raffi the day he was born.

They moved over here last summer intending to stay for a while, but things went "tits up" and they are moving back to Belgium this summer. It's been 5 years since I've seen them and I figured if I didn't get up to visit now that I'd go another 5 years without seeing them.

Here is a picture of me and Alexia in Italy in 2003, and then Alexia and Zoe yesterday.

She's serious about safety gear

2009-05-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

My mother's day date to Starbucks

2009-05-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

17 months

2009-05-07T20:41:00.001-07:00

Dear Zoe,

Bean! Yesterday you turned 17 months old. We didn't throw a party or anything because now that you're a KID you only get birthdays once a year, ok?

I really can't believe how much you are talking. A friend told me that her daughter had 70 words by the time she was 18 months...so I started to count how many words you say and then that got boring. You know A LOT of words. Some of your favorites are: please, chip (you like the salty over the sweet, baby!), duck, hi, car, outside (which just sounds like siiiide), shoes and water. It seems like you could say a few things one day, and then suddenly you could say 100 things. You don't waste time, Senorita.

Here's a video of some of your talking with a little bit of your sweet dancing action thrown in. Pretty amazing.

At least twice a week your Grandpa David (Buppa is what you call him) comes over to play with you or you go visit him at his place. You guys have a special relationship - you always have. I really love to see you doing your thing together. He follows your lead and you guys have the best of times. Just makes me want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

Here you are taking your duck for a walk together today.

Every single morning, you head for the door and say "siiide?" because you want to go outside. You LOVE to play outside. Once out there, it's only a matter of time before you say something that doesn't really sound like swing but I know it means swing because when I say "you want to swing?" you nod and head for the back yard. You swing for probably 90 minutes a day, no kidding. You can't get enough. I don't blame you, it's good stuff.

I can't wait to see what fun we have this next month. We are celebrating Jack's 7th birthday, going on a trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul and then Jack and Josie get out of school for the summer. You'll be glad to have them home more.

I am enjoying every minute of every day with you, my sweet bean. You are the light of my life...

xooxoxoxoxo
Mama

p.s.
please stop pooping in the tub. thanks.

Hi?

2009-05-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

What the?

2009-05-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

A sheep on a bike? That is bullshit.

Buckethead

2009-05-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

Lovin' her baby

2009-05-01T12:13:00.000-07:00

I really have to get our scanner out and scan in some of Trav's toddler pictures. This one looks just like him.

Tut tut it looks like rain

2009-04-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like we live in the rainforest these days. Zoe loves it. That
makes 1 of us. :)

two new videos

2009-04-27T19:50:00.001-07:00

Life is good, Zoe B.
Here are two videos to prove it.

Lowe's is my playground

2009-04-19T19:11:00.000-07:00

dancing queen

2009-04-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

16 months old

2009-04-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Zoe B,

Well, you're 16 months old now and man, you've got spunk.

You are saying new things all the time and repeating what we say. You ask for water by saying "wa-wa" and you say car, ball, hot, hi, bye, mama, dada, buppa (grandpa), cold (co), and moo(as in the noise cows make). You're such a big girl, Zoe B! Crap! How is it happening? At the same time I'm loving that you're able to communicate so well but I'm also so freaked out that you're not a baby anymore. I know - get over it, right? Wrong. You're my bean. My little baby. And you're GROWING UP TOO FAST! I still treasure our cuddles all through the night and nursing you. You're going to hate it when I'm still trying to nurse you when you're 12. Just kidding. 10. :)

You LOVE shoes, especially your little Crocs (thanks, Sue!) and your red mary-janes. You wear shoes just about all the time. If your feet are not in shoes it's either because you're sleeping, in the bathtub, or you can't find any. And since I'm a horrible housekeeper and stuff is everywhere, you can always find shoes. Mostly they're not matching. Whatevs.

You also are loving being outside...which is just the way I was when I was a bean. If you're crabby I know that you'll come around if I take you outside. You love to watch the birds and go for walks and play with the soccer ball. It's good for me, too, because being outside really is quite awesome. Sometimes grownups forget.

I super duper love you, bean. Every day I thank my lucky stars for you. And every night I can't wait for another day with you.

Love,
Mama

Playing in the puddles

2009-04-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

All dolled up...

2009-04-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

Playing outside - her new favorite thing

2009-04-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Out getting muddy in her sweater dress

2009-03-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

Out for an evening stroll

2009-03-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

New video! Expert cup drinking and saying "bye!"

2009-03-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, she's "says" yes by doing a hand pump and yes, she is eating dinner alone, standing up in her learning tower and yes, she drinks from a shot glass. The only thing out of the ordinary about this for us is the eating alone in the learning tower bit, though she does have her snacks there because she loves it. She almost always eats when I/we eat and we sit together at the table, but Trav and I'd had a huge lunch and weren't hungry. Don't go running off to call CPS....:)

Oh my god!

2009-03-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

This is Zoe's Oh My God! face. She does this when she does something and gets a result (like pushes a button on a toy that make a sound, etc) or when something is surprisingly awesome. I love this. LOVE this.

Grandpa's Birthday cake

2009-03-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Grandpa David's 65th birthday tonight with Aunt Jess and the kids. It was a success!

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

2009-03-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Little Monkey Walking

2009-03-11T16:50:00.001-07:00

15 months old!

2009-03-09T20:25:00.001-07:00

Dear Zoe B,

On Friday you turned 15 months old. I kind of feel like we should adjust your age like they do with preemies because we totally lost the whole month of February to RSV and the pukes and you weren't able to practice your new tricks. So it's really like you're 14 months. Whatever. We're kind of getting to the point in time where counting months starts to seem a little ridiculous. I think in another month I'll just start telling people you're almost 1 1/2. That makes it sound like we mean business, don't you think?

You are looking so much more like a little kid to me. And everyone else. Maybe it's because you're actually growing up even though I am always telling you not to.

Right now you are on this kick of wanting to hold my hand and walk for miles. Fine with me, it's getting warmer out and I'm keen to just walk with you for as long as you want. Sort of. Sometimes we have to go places and do things. Call me crazy. Your dad says you look like a little chimpanzee because you hold up both of your hands when you walk. It is SO CUTE, dude.

When you were about 6 months old, I took you to Baby Sing and Sign class. I did the signs with you pretty consistently for at least 3 months and you never really seemed to respond or try to do it yourself so I gave up. I didn't feel like I had any trouble knowing what you needed, so why bother? I just figured you weren't the signing type. Well...fast forward to now and you sign "eat" and "more" ALL THE TIME. It's pretty cool. I guess you were taking notes and waiting for the right time. It's good that now you can tell me when you want to eat - you used to never want to eat so that's new territory.

You still love to ride your Fropper and take everything out of the cupboards and read books. You were reading a farm book to yourself the other day and you said "MOO!" totally out of nowhere. I was shocked! Never a dull moment around here.

On Thursday (Grandpa David's birthday), your Aunt Jess is going to burst onto the scene. I predict that you two best friends will have more fun than you ever have had before. Things have really turned around for her and she's happy - things have really turned around for YOU and you're happy - it's going to be a party! I can't wait!

Speaking of Aunt Jess, you have started to let me know (without crying) that you are unhappy with my actions. Aunt Jess does this same thing sometimes. It looks like this:

We are having so much fun. I love that I get to spend every single day playing with you. What a lucky mama I am.

I love you, Bean!

Mama

80 degrees!

2009-03-05T20:42:00.001-08:00

Today it was 80 degrees - so we headed to the park. Here's a picture of Alayna Manning pushing Zoe in the swing.

yay for March!

2009-03-04T19:52:00.001-08:00

Thank goodness February is over. March is here and IT.IS.AWESOME.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be over 70 degrees, Zoe B isn't throwing up or coughing her brains out, and Aunt Jess comes next week. All is well. (knock on wood)

Zoe threw up for ten days straight after we returned from Arizona and that was, as you can imagine, horrendous. She lost 4 lbs and became slightly dehydrated but nothing serious enough to require IV fluids (Yay breastfeeding!). It SUCKED. My mom came down for a weekend and made it suck less, but it still sucked. Zoe loves her - I think she can feel the mom vibe. They cuddled a lot.

Now that Zoe B is better, she's working hard to return to her fighting weight. She is eating up a storm and nursing constantly. It's incredible. My child, who has for the most part always turned her nose up at solid foods and snubbed breastfeeding in public, is now a voracious eater and enthusiastic public nurser. Today she joined Stephanie and I out for lunch and she just sat there and ATE. The whole time. NUTS!

Here she is with a giant cookie (thanks, Grandma Jackie!).

It's so good to have my healthy, rascally girl back!

Almost done with February....

2009-02-25T20:51:00.000-08:00

the month from hell.

Sorry for the skimpy postings...Zoe has been sick with a bad stomach bug for over a week.

Will get back on board when things return to normal. Will they? Ever? Please? Please?

Panton junior chair

2009-02-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

Hey, this is cool!

2009-02-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

Grandma and Grandpa love

2009-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

Better and toddling

2009-02-11T21:58:00.001-08:00

I'm so glad that we went to the Urgent Care over the weekend because it made a tremendous difference. It sucked (literally - ha!) but it was so worth it. That night Zoe came home and slept better than she had in weeks.

Now that she's better, she's charging to world. Walking - more and more each day and it is SO! CUTE!

Posting may be light for the next week or so, depending on my internet access. We leave for Fountain Hills, AZ, on Friday. Hoooooray, warm weather!

zoe b walker

2009-02-09T16:38:00.000-08:00

Deep suctioning - no thanks

2009-02-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Zoe B,

Tonight I had to take you to the children's hospital urgent care because you just didn't seem to be getting better. You were still running a fever and your cough wasn't improving. So, we took off to the urgent care and to be honest, I thought they'd tell me to just ride this virus out. Not so!

They did a whole host of things that were very unpleasant for you and, by extension, me. Initially we went by ourselves and as soon as I heard "deep suctioning" I called your Dad and told him to come. You freak out when I try to suction your nose with the bulb syringe so I knew this would be horrific. And, of course, it was. They had to hold you down and stick a tube up your nose and down your throat, and just typing this out and thinking of it makes me tear up. I'm so glad your dad was there because I couldn't watch - I had to stand in the corner, plug my ears and deep breathe. He was with you and held your hands.

That was first and you never quite recovered from it - you cried off an on for a good hour...and then started back up whenever anyone came in the room. Next up: breathing treatments. More crying. Medicine. More crying. Checking your oxygen level. More crying. Your dad and I were talking about what it must be like for babies in situations like these. We agreed on alien abduction. A bunch of people you've never seen before, can't understand what they're saying, holding your arms down, sticking things in your face. This did little to console me.

But - the good news is that you're going to get better now. You've been sick for over a week and you should start to feel better in the next couple days. I can't wait. I hate this for you. This is the thing about loving you the way that I do...an illness for you is ten thousand times worse than one for me. Your Grandpa David said to me on the phone tonight, "sometimes being a parent just rips your heart out."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I love you, sweet girl.

Love,
Mama

CRAP! WE'RE SICK!

2009-02-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

Poor little Zoe B is the sickest she's ever been. Until now, she's had some sniffles, a runny nose and congestion but nothing like this. She's just plain sick. Running a fever, runny nose, junky cough and sad and blue. My poor little bean.

I started feeling a bit crummy today, too, but lucky for me - I'm a grownup and I can medicate the crap out of myself! Sudafed is my new best friend. And not even because I could make meth with it.

Send good healing vibes to our little Zoe B....who, when she's had a bit of motrin, still has enough energy to push her little friends around in the travel stroller.